Dear Guy,
I know dealing with a broken heart you didn't break can be unbearably frustrating. She is going to second guess you all the time, she is going to struggle with wondering who you are texting and why you liked another girls tweet. When you go out without her she is going to worry and be moody. She is going to be moody for "no reason" sometimes when she sees that you liked a girls selfie or if she sees you've recently added your ex on Facebook. It is going to seem like she doesn't trust you but trust me, it has nothing to do with you.
It has to do with her past. Probably an ex that gave her 100 reasons to worry and wonder. It has to do with someone she trusted with her heart breaking that trust over and over again.
Take some of it as a compliment because it's not that she doesn't trust you, she just thinks you're the best thing ever and any single female around you probably wants to be with you.
If you're dating a girl who gets irrationally jealous or worried when she sees a girls name pop up on your phone then 9/10 you are dealing with a girl that used to date a guy who constantly ran over her feelings and gave her every reason to not trust him. She doesn't want to worry, she doesn't want to be "that girlfriend" that asks you delete a girl or asks you not to like other girls pictures. She doesn't want to feel insecure or jealous. But sometimes she wont be able to help it.
Trust me when I tell you it isn't easy on the other side. For every time she brings something up to you there were 10 other things she convinced herself were too stupid to talk about. Every time a girl comments on you status or snapchats you she is going to spend an indefinite amount of time wondering about it. When you introduce her to your single female friends, or even worse, an ex, she is comparing herself. She is always worried, not about you but about her. Because at one point in time a guy proved to her over and over again that she wasn't good enough to keep his attention and she is going to worry the same about you.
The WORST thing you could ever do with this girl is tell her she is being crazy or tell her what she is feeling is stupid. She already feels like that. That's just going to make her feel like her feelings aren't valid and cause her to bottle it all up inside. Also, guy, please try to remember that she loves you. She doesn't want to be like this. She wishes she didn't care, she wants to not worry, she trusts you. She just cant help it sometimes. Please don't be offended or mad at her because she's already being hard on herself.
The best thing you could possibly do if you care about her is to love her through it. When she confides an insecurity to you, let her get it out, talk it out with her, explain until she looks relieved. If a girl texts you, tell her. Annoy her with reassurance. Help her make friends with your friends of the opposite sex. That alone can take away so much anxiety from her. If she mentions a girl, even casually, then trust me she has thought about that girl and something has happened that has her worried about it. Im not saying to go delete every girl that texts you or comments on something but if she asks about a girl, especially more than once, and its some random girl you barely know or a girl you used to talk to....prioritize. Do what you can to make her understand that her peace of mind is important to you. Do whatever you can to ease her mind. Help find compromises to make her worry less. If there is a girl trying to mess with your relationship, step in. Don't sit back and watch because you don't see her as a threat. Just because you aren't worried about it doesn't mean she wont be.
I wont lie. Dating a girl like this will be hard. Its going to be tiresome, aggravating, and take a lot of effort. However I promise you that you will never meet a girl capable of a more deep love than a girl like this. A girl like this will never cheat or lie to you. She knows that kind of pain. She will go out of her way to make sure you know how much she cares and appreciates you because that's what she craves most. She will probably annoy you with reassurance on her side too, over explaining who every guy that texts her is, deleting guys that comment on her social media posts, whatever she can do to make sure you know she's yours. Once you win her over, she will give you the most faithful, sincere love you could have ever imagined.
