So far, not going home on Easter weekend has been one of my biggest regrets. Sure I had a good time at formal, but after that, everyone was gone. All I could think was how I wanted to go home and see my family, my dog, and have a nice home cooked meal. That's just what I should've done. My family at home, however, didn't even have a proper Easter dinner because they were waiting for me to come home. Then, all I was thinking to myself was that we did not deserve people like you. But we do. We need people like you on this Earth because you make everything better. It's hard not to be mad at yourself for saying something like that now that you're gone.

I promise I didn't mean it literally. If I could go back in time, I would skip formal and come home for Easter dinner. If anything, you deserved it. But you didn't get one, and it's all because of me.

You taught me so many life lessons as I was growing up that I didn't even realize, and still don't to this day. I love being able to say I had someone as influential as you in my life.

Positivity. All I can think about were the memories you constantly gave to me, all of which were good ones. I cannot think of a time where you weren't trying to make everyone happy. Even with sad news, you radiated positive vibes. You made me think everything was good in the world.

Sharing is caring. As much as I didn't want to share you, I had to with way too many relatives. I enjoyed our time spent together, but it was also enjoyable when you were teaching us how to share with each other. You had the good computer to play club penguin on. When you had the six cousins together and one computer, it was basically torture trying to get us to take our own turns. It was also torture to stop us from running into your room to get snacks from the candy basket. Growing up, I had an endless supply of Reese's cups and Milkyway's.

Don't sit too close to the T.V. I remember spending all of Sunday at your house. After church came lunch and later on that day came Hannah Montana and all of our favorite Disney shows. There were times you let me sit right in front of the television in the kitchen, or even let me sit on that weird pillow mattress in the living room right in front of the television. Didn't matter which T.V. I was watching, both were killing my eyes. Other times though, it was nice to sit with you, munching on some chicken nuggets while you pretended to be interested in my shows just to spend time with me.

Holidays are meant to be with family. I could always count on you to go way out of your way to cook every possible food choice for every single holiday. Even on holidays that didn't get much celebration, you would have a special themed dinner. I loved cramming our entire family into your living room on Christmas Eve and sending all of the grandchildren to eat in a separate room on Thanksgiving because there weren't enough seats for us at the adult table. Sunday's were basically a holiday every week if you thought about how much food you cooked for us. It was hard to find pictures with you in them around the holiday season because you were always the one capturing these memories and moments that will never leave our minds.

A peanut butter and fluff sandwich can change the world. Whenever I slept over, I couldn't sleep. I was never the best at sleeping in a place that wasn't my own bedroom. Every Saturday night, right when the clock struck 12, we both knew it was time for a peanut butter and fluff sandwich. It was clockwork in my head, and maybe I wasn't sleeping because I knew I would get a sandwich. Every time it worked. Minutes after I ate that last bite, I was out. The only consistent food (other than mac and cheese, and popcorn) that I have had in my dorm room is peanut butter and fluff.

So to the Arlene Bender, the grandmother who left way too soon: I love you.

I will never forget you. You will always be one of my best friends and one of my role models. Thank you for being the best that you can be whenever we needed you.