Let me first begin with a thank you. Even though we didn’t end up together, you showed me so many things about myself that I hadn’t known. The timing it takes me to respond to certain people, like my mom and my editor. The position that I wake up in was in regards to a good or bad dream. Even a subconscious squint that comes to my eyes when I saw my ex come up on my snap feed to save face. But more importantly, thank you for being there. I may not have been the best girl at the time, but you knew that I was trying to find myself, even though you knew that meant I might not find you in my future. Nonetheless, you were there when I was at my worst. When I was broken. When I was jaded. When I couldn’t trust even myself. When I felt alone. When I was alone. You could have run the other way – putting up caution tape that read “extreme baggage”, but you didn’t. Just that alone shows how good a soul you were.

I will never understand why you stayed with me. I will never understand what propelled you to continue seeing me when you knew that you may not be staying for long. But then again, I could say the same to myself for being with you. There was never a title that was assigned to us, but we knew that there was an us and at the end of the day that was all that mattered. You deserved so much more than I gave you. I know that you wanted to stay together but I could never do that to you. Whether you thought I was good for you or not. The truth is, I wasn’t even good for myself. I couldn’t be the one to answer all of your texts and snaps. I couldn’t be the one to give you that daily reassurance, no matter how many times you were able to give it to me. I couldn’t be the one to FaceTime you every night, let alone once a week. Looking back, I wish I could of. I wish that I was able to be the girl you deserved. But I couldn’t. Sometimes people just can’t fit together, no matter how hard you try to.

So thank you, for being the light in my life, and showing me that there are good guys out there. Thank you for being sweet and paying attention and being kind to the broken person I was. I’m sorry that things ended abruptly, but I knew that staying with you could potentially have you miss out on the girl you needed. I could never live with myself doing that. Just know, I will always cherish what we had, and I will never forget what you did for me.