I used to be you.
I had so many goals and dreams and thoughts and opinions that I wanted to share, but I kept that all to myself. My true self — the person I wanted to be — existed only in my mind, safe from rejection.
It was the fear of rejection that drove many of my actions. I made few friends because I was worried people wouldn’t like me. I never asked anyone out or tried to form any romantic relationships because I was worried I would be turned down. I didn’t share my talents with people because I was worried people would mock me, or would think that my hard work was all rubbish.
A couple years ago, I would have rather died than share something I wrote with another human. I would have been terrified to write an article and put it on the internet where people might actually read it, even though writing has been my longtime passion.
I used to live a life of quiet desperation, until I finally realized that it was getting me nowhere. Life wasn’t going to come find me. If I wanted something, I was going to have to work for it, and the first step in that process was actually expressing myself instead of keeping the real me tucked into a far, private corner of my mind.
This is easier said than done, and the thought of rejection is scary. It was that fear that kept me from being as happy as I could have been for a long time.
But that fear cannot be your master.
If you truly want something, stop hoping that your goals will come knock on your door.
To you, my fellow introverts — gals and guys both — I charge you to be more open with people. Share what you love with people and be an active part of the world instead of a passenger.
It’s fine to start small. Set goals for yourself, like getting to know at least one new person, speaking up more in class, or letting people know how you really feel about things instead of just going along with the flow of the crowd.
The year is still fairly young, and there is still plenty of time to make this the year that you finally come out of your shell. If fear of rejection is what keeps you from expressing yourself or forming relationships, devote this year to learning to love yourself as well.
There is nothing more liberating than learning to love yourself. When you love yourself, when you are the source of your own validation, it doesn’t matter how others might feel.
Accept that you make mistakes, because everyone does, and embrace all of the unique things that make you who you are. There is no one else who could do a better job at being you than you can.
I was once you, and I know that there is so much more to you than what you let on. Stop hiding it. Let people see you for who you are. I promise it’s not that scary.
