“Learning to love yourself will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do in life.”
~ Anonymous
Love. It’s something we all wish and desire. Wanting that significant other to love you and only you. They are the one who makes you feel special, warm and fuzzy inside. They are the one who make all your problems go away when it’s just the two of you. You’re nothing but happy and can’t stop smiling. Before all that can happen however, you have to love yourself. Once that happens, everything will fall into place.
To the girl who thinks she’s unloveable,
You’re out with your friends and by the end of the night you have a new hottie’s number. You talk here and there, hang out, and after a few dates you feel something, a connection. He makes you so happy that you can’t stop thinking about him and get your hopes up thinking that he could be the one; he’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Then, everything falls apart. You stop talking, stop hanging out, and when you do talk it’s a two-minute conversation. You’re left wondering what went wrong and instantly blame yourself thinking of ways you could change it. How could this guy who made me so happy and made me believe that he wants to try something do this? Is it because I’m not pretty enough, not smart enough? Is it the way I look? This doesn’t just happen once, but all the time. It happens so much that when the real thing comes around you won’t see it. It will, it just takes time.
Coming from experience with a never-to-be toxic relationship of three years, I’ve been hurt so much, in ways that I couldn’t imagine, that I believed I was unloveable. That boy made me feel like the happiest girl on earth; a guy actually wants to know me. He made an effort to talk and not just through text but in public as well. He’d say the right things when I was having a bad day or made a really good day even better. But that changed, right before my eyes and I didn’t even see it. I didn’t want to believe it.
The boy I knew and the boy my friends knew were two different people. The man of my dreams would be right in front of me while the man in a nightmare was what others were seeing. He’d make jokes about me to his friends, telling any guy who talked to me that "she isn't worth it." When things didn’t work out between us I questioned constantly what went wrong and what I could do to change the outcome.
I was so emotionally abused by this boy for three years that I forgot how to love myself. I reached rock bottom and came to the conclusion that I would forever be by myself. I’d pretend to be happy and that everything was okay on the outside, but on the inside everything was falling apart. I’d see all my friends in relationships being happy as can be. I would ask them how they became that way and they would tell me that you’ll find someone when you least expect it. I’ve heard that so many times that I didn’t believe it.
Boys think it’s okay to play with your heart, give you mixed signals twenty-four seven. They make you believe they want to be with you and start something while all they want is sex. They’ll do anything for it; talk to you, hang out, make you feel loved and special when it’s all a lie. They show you what you think is love when it’s not the real thing.
“Learning to love yourself will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do in life.”
Don’t let anyone or anything make you feel like you won’t ever be loved, because you will. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually, when the time is right. Prince charming will sweep you off your feet and show you a love like never before, the right kind of love. Don’t change yourself for someone just because you want that significant other. If they can’t love the person in front of them, flaws and all, they aren’t for you. Your self-worth is the most important thing; make it what you want it to be. Love yourself and everything you've become because at the end of the day, the love you have for yourself is the most important.
