To The Girl Who Needs To Be More Confident,

Some days will come when you feel like you can rule the world. You wake up with a mental soundtrack playing in your head, dance around your room singing into your hairbrush, and slide down the stair rail like a cliché ‘90s movie intro. You strut through the day with a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye. Although your morning might have started out great, suddenly, you feel empty and unnecessary.

When you feel unnecessary, you need to know that being confident is NOT about looks, it is about being a stronger version of yourself. You need to focus on yourself and not on what others may think of you. You need to realize that if you be yourself, the right people will love you no matter what. And if the people around you don’t realize how great you really are, kick them to the curb. Oh, well. Their loss. Becoming confident takes time; I have realized that and you need to, too. Confidence is the key to being truly happy. You never should compare yourself to other people’s looks, weight, intelligence, or their material things—you are you for a reason, so own it. While I am still struggling with realizing this, it is important for you to go to bed every night knowing you are good enough, no matter what other peoples’ definitions of a “perfect girl” may be.

It wasn’t until recently when a good friend told me that I was perfect the way I am and that I only have to be good enough for myself that I truly began to rebuild my confidence. Coming to college is hard on girls. You are compared to your friends, celebrities on social media, and all the other girls at the bar on Friday nights. Let me tell you one thing I have learned since coming to college: being confident is harder than ever. I have always been confident in myself and able to look in the mirror and be happy; However, college changed that. I regret ever not being happy with who I am because, honestly, my life is pretty damn good. You should never look at yourself and not be happy because no matter how bad your day may go, you are alive and loved and that is pretty sweet.

Most importantly, you should never let anyone’s opinion of you change your outlook on life and the goals you want to accomplish. I cannot stress how important it is to focus on yourself because people will come in and out of your life but you will always be you. Being confident starts with you, and when people see how happy you are with yourself, you will influence their happiness too. Surround yourself with people who love you and realize that your friends and family are your number one fans. Trust me, although you may think they don’t care, they do.

Whatever you do, do it with all of your heart. Learn to love yourself no matter how sucky your day might have been. Laugh at your mistakes, be motivated by your failures, and show the world how much you rock. Keep killing it, girl.

Confidently,

Carol