As a young lady in college, some people are starting to ask the constant question of “Do you have a boyfriend?” or “Why don’t you have one?” The topic of having a significant other hasn’t just started, I’ve been asked that question since I was in my early teens. Now I dread being asked that question, not because it bothers me, but because it’s viewed as if it’s the worst thing ever. People look at you like there’s something wrong with you or they just keep pushing your buttons to give them reasons for your singleness. I’ve never understood why people think it’s so bad. People need to comprehend that being single is not bad and it shouldn’t be viewed that way.

I have seen a variety heartbreaks, happy couples, happy singles, sad singles, broken marriages, and marriages that are working out. Since I’ve graduated high school, people seem to be getting married, having kids, moving, traveling and so on. Sometimes you might think to yourself, why am I not at that stage? Is there something wrong with me? The answer to those questions is “stop worrying about others and focus on yourself.” Honestly, I’m happy for all these people who are doing all these things with their life. As long as you’re happy, keep doing what you’re doing.

To all my single and newly single people out there, this is not the end of the route. I’m sure you’ve probably heard that everyone is on their own timeline. You are probably rolling your eyes right now, but that statement is true. The more you overthink about why you’re single, the more you are stressing yourself out. Stop worrying about it because that person will come along when you least expect it, not when you’re continuously looking.

Instead of worrying about your relationship status, focus on yourself and your advancement for a change. Find your passion in life. If you hate your job or where you live, change something. Go out there and find what you like, find what makes you happy. Find a career that feels more like leisure than actual dreadful work. Being successful in life doesn’t always mean winning the most money, it can also mean being happy with your career or your environment.

As for me, I’m coming to the end of completing my undergraduate studies as a single woman and I’m completely fine with that because I have other priorities. I want to be able to find a job that I enjoy and a place of my own with my own money. I want to make sure that I can live by myself without having to count on someone. I want to be sure that I’m able to support myself without a significant other just incase future relationships don’t work out.

Some people have a hard time grasping this idea around their head because the man is supposed to be the “breadwinner”, but times have changed. Other people might think, “why wouldn’t you want to have a significant other?” It’s not that I don’t want to have one, it’s just that I’m more focused on stabilizing myself and finding my passion in life rather than finding a partner. Obviously I want to have a partner one day, but today is not that day. A partner can completely change your life, but I want to focus on making myself confident first before I give my attention to someone else.