First of all, you are NOT alone.
As I went through high school and began my college career, I sometimes felt as if people expected me to be embarrassed by the fact that I have never had a boyfriend. Well, I am by no means embarrassed. It is actually something I take a lot of pride in, because I have never lowered my standards just so I could have a boyfriend. Now before anyone gets confused or offended; I am not saying that if you have a boyfriend you have low standards. That would be a ridiculous statement. I am saying that I have yet to meet a guy who has reached the standards I have built up since I was little. However, some of you beautiful ladies have met that guy and have your whole life planned with him, and that is awesome. That is just not the case for me, I have never dated anyone; honestly, I’ve never even come close to dating someone. I know I am not alone in this and I want to say a few words to my fellow sisters in Christ who have yet to find her a man.
Recommended for you
It’s OK. No there is nothing wrong with you. You aren’t going to end up alone. And you most definitely ARE good enough.
There is always this stigma that goes along with a young girl not dating or “talking” to a guy. A lot of times you feel like guys don’t talk to you because you aren’t pretty, funny, interesting, smart, cool, worth it, and whatever other horrible lies the Enemy tries to tell you. But good news, those are all LIES; lies that only keep you from seeing your worth and beauty. And you’re never going to find that “perfect” guy if you are so self-conscious and unaware of your identity in Christ.
I often find myself seeing people and saying, “wow, even she has a boyfriend, and I don’t,” and when I really think about it, I realize it is the stupidest statement. I don’t want to date just anybody. I want to date somebody who is going to do all that he can to reach the standards I have for him. On the other side of that, I want him to have standards for me as well. Relationships aren’t just two people who fit well together, and so they get together and everything is great. No, it’s two people growing together and pushing one another in faith and in life.
Girl, you are not wrong for having super high standards. If you believe in those things, and you know they line up with what God wants for your future boyfriend, then don’t be ashamed of them. Flaunt those standards and let everyone know you aren’t settling for anyone. Everyone always says you should “date around” before finding the person you spend the rest of your life with, but I believe it is perfectly fine to have one guy the rest of your life. I’m a firm believer of dating with the intentions of marriage. Because why date someone you can’t ever see yourself marrying? Not to say that just because you date someone, you will marry them; but why waste the time if it would never be a possibility?
It is also, hard not to be bitter, at times, towards those with what looks like the perfect relationships. You know, #goals. Instead be joyful and excited for your friends that have awesome relationships. Watch them as they grow together and maybe you can even learn and thing or two, for when it’s your turn. Also, you can never be a bridesmaid too many times (at least I don’t think so).
So sister, don’t be discouraged if the cute boy you never had the guts to talk to gets a girlfriend, and that girlfriend is not you. Continue to pray that God will prepare you for your future relationship, and that He is preparing that guy you have no clue exists. Because the truth is no relationship will ever be worth the time spent, if your heart is not prepared for it. So let God take control of your heart and shape you into the young woman you so desire to be. Your time will come (and so will mine), and we will all be infinitely grateful that we waited and never settled. Our perfect guys are coming, but for now, we wait.
And, if you ever feel alone, unloved, or unworthy, remember you have a Savior who loves you more than words can express. No man can ever fill your heart with the love like Jesus can. No matter who you date, no one can fill that hole except Christ. He is the one that loves us most and through that love we learn to love one another.
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” – John 15:13 …Jesus did that for you and me!!! That is the greatest love of all!
