Your college years are supposed to be the best times of your life. Endless parties, newfound freedom, and friendships to last a lifetime- except, what do you do when that’s not the case? I know all too well those feelings of confusion, doubt, and even fear, and I know I cannot be the only one. This is for the girls (and guys) who feel out of place in their place in life; for those who wonder “am I living it right?” (to quote the great John Mayer).

Hey girl,

No, this isn’t one of those cheesy Ryan Gosling “hey girl” pictures, but I didn’t know how else to start this so forgive me already. If you’re reading this, it’s because you saw the title of my article and felt like maybe just maybe something in your life feels off. You probably can’t even pinpoint what it is.

I’m sure school is going okay, could be better, but by no means going badly. You have a new freedom you did not have until you reached this point in life, and you’re finally able to make every single decision that YOU and only you want. Still with me? If I had to guess I’m on to something here and newsflash, it’s because I’M IN YOUR SHOES. I know the feeling. Everything should be great. Maybe school should feel less daunting and maybe you’ve spent a little too much money on food this month but besides that nothing is wrong.

I know it’s hard. It’s a weird spot to be in when you have no reason to feel out of place, or sad, but everything just feels wrong. Trust me. It’s not easy when you can’t even figure out what’s wrong let alone deal with it, but it’s going to be okay. Yes, college is a time for figuring out who you are, who you want to be, and how to achieve the latter, but that does not mean you have to have anything figured out. In fact, you’ll probably get well into your twenties before you even slightly begin to think you might have something figured out. It’s perfectly normal.

Maybe you feel like you aren’t in the right major, or maybe you think your friends from high school have moved on and you haven’t really found that group of “lifelong besties” everyone around you seems to have. Do NOT let that discourage you. Please, for me. Spend an extra thirty minutes studying, I promise you won’t regret it. Don’t go to the party unless you want to- if you try so hard to fit in you’ll never find your place. Take time to do what makes you happy at your core.

After all, that’s all this time in life is for- finding out what makes you, YOU. Take some extra time in school, absorb what you’re learning. Take every second as it comes and do not forget how fleeting time is. You’ll feel stuck in this endless cycle of being out of place but before you know it, you’ll be exactly where you need to be (or at least you’re going to realize you have been this whole time).

Remember that you are loved beyond measure and nothing lasts forever, especially these uncomfortable moments. And please, if nothing else, keep in mind that significant growth happens in the midst of discomfort. You will be okay. You will find your place. Be steadfast in what you know in your soul to be best for you, and you will only grow more and more with yourself.

Love always,

The girl who (constantly) feels out of place- it won’t be like this for long