It’s kind of crazy when people ask you something along the lines of, “where will you be next year?” and you can’t actually tell them. I’ve been there. I know for a fact I will be there again at some point in my life.
Last year I was trying to decide where I was going to transfer for school. I had had a pretty clear plan from freshman year, but during my sophomore year of college I changed my major and that completely altered my trajectory and made the school I thought I was going to go to much less appealing. I’m happy with the choice I made, but it wasn’t easy to get here. You will find your way.
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I could sit here and tell you you’re in a beautiful place. I could tell you that it all works out and that you need to be in the moment, but you most likely don’t want to hear that because you’re stressed about your future. I can’t blame you for that. I was too.
Please know that it is okay to not know. There is nothing wrong with you. You didn’t miss some sign or calling. Sometimes, it just takes time. There’s a lot of pressure put on young people to have their lives figured out. I’m not saying you need to lie around and be a bum for a few years while you “find yourself,” but I am saying that it is okay to settle for something that isn’t what your end goal is. Nothing is permanent. You do not have to stay where you are now and you don’t necessarily have to stay where you think you’ll be in a year.
The world is yours. You can go anywhere and do anything. Do not take that for granted, and do not read too far into that. Take it in stride, and understand that you are able to do this because you have control here. These choices are yours to make.
I’m a big believer in the pros and cons list. I make them for almost every big decision I have to make. My school selection was no exception. Once I had written all of the pros and cons of my three choices down it was made very clear to me where I should go, but there was still this huge part of me that didn’t want to make the decision.
I think I was afraid to actually commit to something. I think that’s a common theme amongst most decision making problems. If we didn’t do things out of fear we wouldn’t actually do anything at all worth doing. Don’t let fear consume your decision making. Remember, nothing has to be permanent.
Hang in there. I know that’s easier said than done. You will find your way. It will get better. It will be okay; even if it doesn’t feel okay right now or even a few months from now, it will be okay. You’ll get to wherever it is you’re trying to get. Who knows, like me, you might not even know where you’re supposed to be. Something that seems like a job that you are “settling” for could completely change the trajectory of you goals and passions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Keep working hard, keep putting yourself out there, keep trying new things, and don’t stress too much. You will find your way.
