In a society filled with so much hate, media and expectations of how a girl should look, it can be hard to view yourself as beautiful. For years, I have struggled with loving myself. I had a ritual every morning of looking at myself and picking out what I hated. I would say to myself, "Well, maybe if you lost ten pounds, you would be more attractive." I didn't realize that I was doing this every single day, until one day, I noticed how much hate was coming from my mouth. I knew I had to change. Loving yourself is such a hard task. I still struggle some days with how I feel about myself, but I remind myself, "You are good enough, and you are worth it!" I have a few tips and tricks on how I have continued my journey with loving myself.
1. Cut all negative people out of your life.
Woah.I know. You are saying to yourself, "How am I supposed to know who is having an adverse affect on how I see myself?" Well, from my years of self-doubt and cutting myself down, I didn't realize who was saying horrible things to me without me noticing. I look back now and I realize some of the things that people have said to me. At dinner once, my grandmother looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, but you can't sit in that chair. You are too fat. You will break it and it is an antique dining set." I cried for hours, and instead of saying anything, I let those negative words sink into my brain and poison how I felt about myself. I started eating less and trying to be thinner. I hated myself for my weight. This is something that I still struggle with daily. My weight has always been something that I don't like about myself and I always try to change it. I have had people that I thought were my friends comment on my weight (how I am dumb, etc.) Cutting those people out of your life can be so hard, because the person that is saying these things that make you think twice about what you are worth might actually be one of your closest friends. Don't let them talk about you like that! This stuff poisons you and turns you against yourself. You start seeing what these people say about you to be true or what you think is true. Let them go! If they cannot see your beauty and take you for who you are, it is time to let go.
2. Start each day with a positive thought.
This makes a huge difference in how you see yourself. Oh my goodness, when I first started doing this, I thought it was going to be impossible. I couldn't think of one good thing about myself! Not. One. Thing. I stood in the mirror for an hour, blankly staring at this human that has no good qualities. That is when it hit me: wow... there has to be something good about me, right? I looked at myself and said, "Your eyes are so blue today." That is all I had at that time. That sentence is what started my road to loving me, because I can change my weight, my hair color and my clothes, but I can't change who I am. There is only one of you on this planet, and why do you think that is? You are special. You are unique. You are worth it. If you have to take a Post-It note and tape it to your mirror with a positive thought about yourself, do it. That is the start to something monumental.
3. 5-year-old "you" will thank you.
A wise woman once said to me, "Every time you have a negative thought about yourself, pick up a picture of yourself when you were little. Can you say it to her?" Wow. I realized that I couldn't. We are still those little girls that are care-free and want to make something of themselves. We had dreams of being firefighters, police officers, lawyers, business women, going to college, being married and having children. Look at yourself... Most of us have accomplished at least one of these things. Wow. Can you believe that? You. You have done something that a 5-year-old could only dream of. I had a dream the other night that made me cry myself awake. I know... Sad, right? No. It was wonderful; they were happy tears. I dreamed that I was talking to my 5-year-old self. She asked me, "How old are you?" "What are you doing right now?" "What am I going to be when I grow up?" and ended it with "Wow. I am so beautiful all grown up!" I answered all my little self's questions and she was so excited and all she could say was "Wow, I turned out to be pretty awesome! I went to college! Wow!" That is what made me wake up. Why am I not more proud of myself? I am still her. I am still that same 5-year-old with huge dreams, and I am accomplishing them day by day. Why aren't I proud? You should be proud. You are making progress and youare accomplishing goalsyou set. Even if they were 10+ years ago.
4. Try to see the beauty in others.
Even this will help you along your journey. It seems kind of strange, but it makes sense. Seeing the best in other people will help you search for what the best part of you is. Kind of weird, right? It really does! It helps you see and appreciate how you are different from others and what makes you unique. It also helps with comparing yourself to people. Just like so many of us girls out there. I, myself, am guilty of this! I compare myself to others. I will see someone so pretty on TV and say, "I wish I had her body. My body is so ugly!" and then I stop myself. That woman on TV, most likely, doesn't see all of her potential. She has self-esteem problems, in some way, too. We all do. No, we are not perfect, but stop trying to be someone else. Be you.
I hope these steps help you as much as they helped me while training myself. I want to empower women, not tear them down. Don't listen to the noise of the crowd. You are amazing, beautiful, strong, and worth it. Don't let others have power over what you think of yourself. You are great.
