I have been the girl in recovery. After a rough break up, I went through a long stage of recovery, and it was hard. One of the hardest things I have ever done. But people can be recovering from all sorts of tragedies. So, now if you are reading this, and you are the girl (or boy) in recovery, I want to give you some advice that I wish I had known.

You are allowed to cry. You don’t have to be rainbows and sunshine 24/7. Recovery is about feeling better, and sometimes it takes one good cry to get it all out, to start feeling better again. Don’t feel discouraged when someone tells you to “Just get over it." You are allowed to be upset, you are allowed to be angry; don’t let others suppress how you feel.

You can let people in. Not everyone is going to hurt you, even though I know that is hard to believe. There are people in your life who truly want to help you, so don’t build up your walls quite yet. It is easier to go through this stage with people who truly love you rather than dealing with it alone.

There are going to be bad days as well as good ones. There are going to be days where you want to go out, have fun, feel alive. But there will also be bad days where all you want is to do is lay in bed and cry. No, you aren’t crazy or bipolar. It is all part of the process.

Just relax. You may be lost right now. It happens to the best of us. You don’t need to know exactly what you want to do RIGHT NOW. That doesn’t mean you don’t have it together.

Let go of the toxic people in your life. There are going to be people in your life who just don’t belong there. People who don’t support you, bring you down or lead you in a direction that you don’t need to be going, LET THEM GO. Even if you think you need them, or you love them, it will benefit you in the long run.

You have the ability to get rid of all the negativity in your life. Believe it or not, if there is something that is bringing you down, you can just get rid of it. It took me a little while to figure this one out. It really is that simple.

Stop trying to make everyone happy, because it is impossible. Your health should come first and foremost. IT IS OK TO BE SELFISH SOMETIMES. Look out for yourself, because you are the only one who will be.

It is okay to not be okay. Everyone thinks that recovery takes place within days, but it doesn’t. There are going to be days where all you want to do is curl up in bed and sleep. Do it. Sleep, replenish. No this doesn’t make you lazy. Sometimes your body and mind just need a break from the world.

Lastly, you are going to make it. I know it seems impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now, but it is there. Don’t feel discouraged if it doesn’t come within days, or even weeks. Sometimes recovery can take YEARS. Live life, have fun, don’t let it hold you back from the things you want to do. You have a purpose, and you have worth; never forget that.