Congrats. You are getting the family that I dreamt of becoming a part of for 4 years. For four years I waited for the day to come that he would propose to me. It never did. Instead, he met you and broke up with me. Most people would think that I'd be angry at him and even you, but I'm not. Not anymore. You see, during our four years of being together we had a lot of ups and downs. We changed who we were at the start of our relationship to try and morph into the person we thought each other wanted. That wasn't right. We both brought each other down in many different ways. One that I will regret for my whole life is talking him into losing his virginity to me. I regretted it after it happened for the first time and after every other time. I knew it was something he wanted to save for the person he married, and yet, I took that away from him. I know he chose to do it too, but I've always felt responsibility for it. We were happy for the first two or three years, but honestly, the last year was just us pretending. After so long we, well at least I, didn't want to realize that it wasn't going to work and that we weren't meant to be. But, after he went away to work at a church camp, where he had met you, he came home and broke up with me. Over the phone of all things. I was devastated for over a month. I cried every single day and night and my face stayed puffy and red. One day I realized I wasn't really crying over him as much as I was his family, and eventually I got better. I removed him off of everything I had... Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter.. I knew that I couldn't move on if I hadn't. I started seeing new people and I have seen multiple people in the past 9 months, but nothing has been serious, and nothing has worked out. One day someone asked me if I had seen where he had gotten into a relationship, and since I had removed him I hadn't, but out of curiosity, I looked, and I saw you. Not often, but some late nights I'd get curious and I'd look him up to see if y'all were still together, and y'all would be. I saw pictures of you with his family that I had loved so much or pictures of him kissing your forehead like he had done mine for so long or you wearing his jacket that I remember him getting and had worn myself so many times. It hurt at first, but as time went on it hurt less and less. Then one night came and my older sister of all people asked me while we were at a family dinner with everyone if I knew he had proposed to you. I, of course, hadn't. That hurt. I don't know if it hurt more because it was something I had dreamed of for four years and you got in way less than year or because everyone in the room I was in knew it except for me. After thinking about it for a couple of weeks, I can honestly say that I'm happy for y'all. People think I'm crazy for saying that, but I am. I'm glad that he has found someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I always knew deep down that it wasn't me. I couldn't have ever been that person for him. But you are. I haven't found anyone else to get in a relationship with yet, but I'm not rushing into it. I know my person will come. I've been focusing on myself and making myself happy. I've become a better person for it. I'm happy that him and I broke up. It bettered me. Ultimately, I needed it to happen. I wish y'all nothing but happiness. I don't know if you'll ever read this, but it's something that was laid on my heart to write out.
Written by the girl that he had to go through to find you.
