Hey there beautiful girl,
I have been where you are, I am currently where you are. You have been beaten, bruised, and laid to be on your own in some form of fashion the world considers to be beautiful. Being beaten and bruised is not always physical, it can be emotional and it can come from anywhere and any person.
Over time the small things pile up and you discover being adults we should all have mature conversations right? wrong. While we may be having mature conversations the other person may not be ready for what you are going to throw at them. Their behavior bothered you? The world is at all ends. Disaster, they can not believe for once their behavior towards you wasn't tolerated. Instead of creating what they consider is "drama" whereas you see it as two adults having a conversation, you scroll to their name in your phone hit edit and block them. You sit there and ponder for a while should you unblock them? Are you being too harsh? The answer is a simple one, no. Y
ou do not have to deal with anyone's behavior if it is not healthy or positive in your life any longer. I have realized lately if I'm alone with only a few good friends I am more content than having to have people in my life who don't contribute satisfactory positivity. I have learned recently life changes us, life doesn't always stick to the plans we have once planned for ourselves and that is okay. I hate change more than anyone, but change is sometimes for the better.
In the past month I have ended a relationship I never envisioned ending, have cut a best friend out of my life for the better and have made future goals and plans for myself. Through focusing on myself I have gained a full time job in an area I went to school for and felt as if it was God's calling to go back and work in the field, I have lost another job and realized if I hadn't I wouldn't have had this one with 30 more hours a week than the other one was providing.
My goal of moving out this year is realistic more now than ever, as hard as it has been emotionally focusing on just myself is the best thing I could have done for myself. So, don't ever feel like you need to hold onto someone for their benefit. If they aren't treating you how they should be, you have every right to walk right out of their life. Clicking the block button is easy, keeping it on the status of blocked is the hard part. Always remember, putting yourself first is never a bad thing and you are not an awful person for it.
xoxo
The Girl Who Gets It