To the girl who I thought would always be there.
I lied. Not being friends with you sucks. Every time I think I'm over it, I think about what used to be, what we had, and what it could have been. Seeing you replace me is extremely hard, but I know it's for the better.
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God puts some people in our lives for the long haul and some for the short haul. I so desperately wanted you to be one of the few that would be there for a lifetime, but I have to trust in God’s plan. He has a plan so much better than anything I can dream of, but it still sucks knowing that you're no longer apart of my plan.
I try so hard to move on, to not think about you, to not remember about our history, to not see you replace me oh so easily. I see it all and each time it hurts even more. Every time you deceive me, every time you put me in unfortunate and awkward positions, I always stick up for you because of the person you used to be.
You used to be my best friend. I saw a kind and genuine side that most people don't see. I saw a side of you that was so nice and sweet, a side of you that I loved. It was a side of you I wanted to get to know, a side of you that made you best friend material in my eyes. That side is almost nonexistent now. Every time you screw me over, I think back to the girl I met, the girl I loved and it makes me forgive you. I forgive you in hopes that things will go back to how they used to be.
To be totally honest, things will never be able to go back to what they used to be and I am still in denial about that. I miss how things used to be so very much, but I can't go back. I just can't, and maybe it is for the best. Seeing your character now makes it easier to move on, but trust me, it's still very very hard.
At the most random moments, I miss you so much. You have no idea how I'm doing or what's going on in my life- that's a weird thought. There was a time when we talked nonstop for most days- that’s so foreign now. There was a time where you were my go to, my ride or die, my favorite- that's almost impossible to remember and think about.
It really is crazy how times change so much so fast. Things have changed so much for us, but it happens for a reason. No matter how sad I get over you, I have to keep a positive perspective. God separated us for a reason, and I can't wait to understand and know the reason, but until then, I'm happy we are civil and I hope some day our paths cross again and maybe, just maybe, we can try round 2.
Xoxo,
Your old pal
