To the friend I grew out of and to the friendship I gave up:
It was bound to happen. Our differences were greater than our similarities and our friendship was based on petty things. It was like an old bra: there when absolutely necessary, but lacking overall support and love. There are times when I wish I hadn’t thrown it out, but when looking at my life the past few months, I am glad that I did.
So, to my former friend, I am sorry. I am sorry that you cannot look past your beliefs and entertain other thoughts that may contradict or stretch your own. I am sorry that I tried to apologize and make nice. I am sorry I put forth the effort to be your friend when you were mad. I am sorry that you think blocking me on various forms of social media makes everything OK. But most of all, I am sorry that you feel the need to bring those around you down in order to lift yourself up.
At the same time that I’m apologizing, I’d also like to thank you. For teaching me the true value of friendship, the definition of kindness, the importance of honesty, the real meaning of equality, and for moments I’ll never forget. I enjoyed our friendship while it lasted and will cherish some of the memories from the nine months. But in the end, letting our “friendship” go was one of the best decisions that I’ve made.
A relationship isn’t defined as a streak on Snapchat or drinking wine together or paying each other back for rides and food. It’s defined in the times that you support each other, that you reach out even when it’s hard, and when you accept responsibility for your actions. It’s being an adult and growing with each other.
When you were willing to talk to me about your problems and stopped listening to mine, when you started living my life for me and judging my decisions, and when you accused me of being self-centered, I was done. I thought back to the times we had and how many of those times it was one-sided: me doing things in hopes of your approval or assistance or advice and you leaving me there. Yes, there were times when you were there 100 percent and I wasn’t, but our friendship was degrading fast from the moment it started.
With everything that’s happened over the past four months, I have grown to be a stronger and more independent person. I recognize when a person needs help or a friend and when I am focusing too much on myself without thinking of my actions’ affects on others. I am happier now than I have been in years and I would like to thank you for it, for allowing me to recognize that my friends are really my friends and not two-sided and for letting me realize that my struggles are not my own. In the end, although I regret how things ended, I do not regret that they did.
