If you struggle with depression, you're not alone.
Approximately 14.8 million Americans (6.7 percent of the population) experiences Major Depressive Disorder in any given year. Lots of factors can contribute to depression, such as cancer, postpartum mood changes, eating disorders, and other mental health disorders. Depression can also come hand-in-hand with many types of anxiety disorders as well.
Depression affects every aspect of your life. You can find yourself having a hard time concentrating or remembering the smallest of details. Your appetite may change, causing you to binge some days, and completely avoid food on others. Irritability and restlessness can be caused by nights plagued by insomnia. The activities and hobbies which once got you through the day can seem almost pointless and not worth doing. Suicidal thoughts, and even attempts, can arise.
One of the biggest factors in living successfully with depression is having a strong support system. Outside of seeing a counselor, which in itself can be extremely helpful, it's important to remember that your friends and family care about you. They want to see you be the best you that you can be. Chances are, if you let them, they'll be there for you.
For many years, I had a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that I needed a support system. It was hard for me to even grasp the concept of having depression. I couldn't share my thoughts and feelings with anyone, it seemed. The school counselor would tell my parents. My parents wouldn't believe me, or they'd blow it off. My friends would think I'm crazy. I'd be locked up somewhere and labelled insane.
All of these thoughts ran through my head on a daily basis, and made me feel extremely helpless. I realized that I was a burden, and thought that no one would want to take the time to help me. I knew how I was on days when I was irritable, and I knew how I acted when I was going on three days with little sleep.
When I got to college, I thought I could handle it on my own. I thought that I was a big girl, an adult, and that I didn't need anyone's help. My professor was the first to reach out to me with concern. He encouraged me to speak to a counselor at school, which turned out to be one of the best choices I've made. Both he and my counselor also encouraged me to open up to my friends, and share myself with them. How could they help me if they didn't understand?
The first time I fully opened up about my depression, and its accompanying anxiety, I felt completely naked. I thought: "This is it. She's going to think I'm crazy, and I'm going to leave." And to my surprise, my friend looked at me and said, "How can I help you?"
The more I opened up to my friends, the more I started realizing a change within myself. I didn't have to hide how I felt anymore. If I was having an anxiety attack, they were there to help me. Whether I needed to be held, listened to, or left alone, they were there. If I needed to sit outside and stare at nothing in particular, they would sit with me. If I needed to go for a drive, they'd accompany me. Grounding exercises didn't come easily to them, but they adapted. If I'm acting a particular way, they know why.
It can be hard, having someone be fine one moment and then snap at you the next. It can be difficult to see your friend lay in bed for days without moving. It can be hard to watch your friend clean an entire dorm room in five minutes and then smooth out a blanket on the bed for ten because it just doesn't look right. It can be hard to watch your friend scream and cry without knowing how to help them.
But, if you can open yourself up to your friends, and if your friends open themselves up to you, they can become the best support system you've ever had. They can make life manageable, and even enjoyable again.
To my friends who help with my depression on a daily basis without complaint, you mean the world to me. Keep doing what you do, and know that I love you. Without you, I don't know where I'd be. Thank you.
