To: The Friend Who Gave Up On Me

Five years. Five of the hardest years of my life I had you to lean on. You were the one thing that always remained consistent when the rest of my life was everything BUT consistent. But one day, you decided you didn’t want to be there for me anymore. So, I hope this finds you where you are. And although I should be angry with you, I really do hope you found the peace of mind you were so desperately searching for, and I’m also sorry that it wasn’t within me.

I’m still not really sure what it was that made you decide that our friendship wasn’t worth it anymore. Maybe it was the fact that I was still in recovery from a terrible relationship, maybe it was because YOU were the one who always had to hear me complain, or maybe I just didn’t tell you enough how much I appreciated you and how much you meant to me. But because of your abrupt departure from my life, there were so many things that I was unable to tell you.

I will always be here for you. That was a promise I made to you five years ago, and it is a promise I intend to keep. If for whatever reason you change your mind, or the world becomes too cold, I will always be here with open arms. I’m always a call or text away, I don’t want you to ever forget that.

I’m sorry that sometimes I got mad at you when you tried to help me. Like the times when you would point out that a guy wasn’t good for me, or that I was making a big deal out of nothing. I’m sorry for the fights this would cause, and the months we would spend not talking until either I came to my senses, or you proved to be right. Now looking back, I wish I would have listened to you more often, because you knew what was best for me when I didn’t.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you as often as you were there for me. I was always in need of your help, always needed your shoulder to cry on, or your ears to listen. Rarely did I ever think about the fact that you may have needed me too. I know that you have gone through unimaginable obstacles, and maybe I just thought too highly of you, thought you were strong enough to handle it on your own, and that was so selfish of me.

I am so blessed to have had your friendship, even if the outcome wasn’t ideal. When the world became too much I knew I always had you. I knew that even in my worst conditions you could make me laugh; you were my anchor. You loved me when I was unable to love myself, and for that I am forever grateful. Nothing you ever did for me went unnoticed, even if I didn’t tell you enough.

I wish nothing but the best for you. I hope you find nothing but happiness in your future because God knows you deserve it. I hope that when you look back on our friendship you smile, because I know I will forever compare this friendship to any of the new ones I will make in the future. Nothing will ever compare to the friendship and memories we shared.

Love Always,

The Girl Who Misses You