Dear family of mine...

I just need to say I love you. I love you far more than words could ever express. You have helped to shape me into the person, the young woman, I am today. For that, I'm forever grateful.

Maybe you helped raise me because you felt obligated. Maybe you had a conversation with my mom before she left us... maybe she asked you keep your eye on me. Maybe you helped just because it was a natural instinct... a natural instinct, coming out of love, to raise me. Whether I am your daughter, sister, cousin, niece.. whatever I am to you, I'm thankful to be it.

While I know this life hasn't been an easy road for me, I know it also hasn't been an easy one for you. I can't imagine what it's like to raise a child that, in most cases, that isn't yours. I don't know what it's like to love a child that isn't mine like he or she is mine. Even still, you have done a wonderful job. I hope that my life reflects the hours of sacrifice you put in for me.

To the family that has never really understood me... thank you for loving me regardless. I know that my faith in Jesus is something that many of you don't fully understand. I know that when I told you I wanted to be a pastor you thought I was insane. I know your heart skipped a few beats when I said I was moving. I know you've been upset when I've missed family functions for church. I know you have had a hard time understanding me and what I choose to do with my life.

I'm here to say I'm sorry. I've kept many parts of my faith a secret from you... for the fear that you'd look at me differently. I avoid the tough conversations because I'm afraid it might be awkward. For the most part, I've never invited you to join me at church. I have always wanted you to accept and understand this part of my life... but I've never let you in. I've never explained things. Instead, I've been judgmental. I've looked at you differently because of the way you live your life. I've been hypocritical. I haven't loved you the way Jesus loves you. I'm sorry for that.

So, to the family that has never understood me fully, I love you. Thank you for loving me even though I'm hard to love. Thank you for supporting my dreams even when they don't make sense to you. Thank you for caring about my safety and well being when sometimes my faith calls me to parts of the world that aren't so safe. Thank you for bearing with me for some of my less intelligent moments.

I'm here to say I've done a lot of things wrong.. and I'm working towards figuring out how to do them the right way. I want to share this part of my life with you. I want to tell you why I love Jesus and why He loves you. I want you to feel comfortable with me.. I don't want you to feel like I'm judging you for being different. I want you to be able to come to church with me if you ever desire to do so.

I just want you to feel the love and freedom from Jesus that I feel.