To The Divorced Child: It's Okay | The Odyssey Online
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Relationships

To The Divorced Child: It's Okay

You'll struggle, but you'll make it.

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To The Divorced Child: It's Okay
klimkin

It's okay to feel constantly angry at the world. There will be days when you are so fed up with the world that you just want to scream and you really don't know why. It's okay. Life dealt you a hand of cards that you never asked for and definitely never wanted to deal with. Watching your parents go through a divorce is one of the hardest things for a child to deal with. There is so much confusion and resentment that comes along with a divorce. You wonder if it was your fault, if you did anything to cause the divorce and why you can't do anything to fix your broken family. You build so much resentment towards the world because you have to wonder, why you? Why were you the one chosen to have to listen to your parents argue, to be shipped between them on weekends, to play the middle man between your parents because they were too angry to speak to one another. Why were you the one who had your childhood ruined?

It's okay to have different opinions on family than others. The concept of family is not the same for you as it is for someone who never had to deal with watching their parents go through a divorce. I would be willing to bet that during that time you sought comfort with your friends and it is a very real possibility that to you, friends will always be more important to you than family. Because during that time of your life, family was an extremely stressful thing to deal with. The concept of family was ripped out from under you and frankly, it just doesn't seem like something that should be your top priority anymore. People will judge you for this, and that's also okay. Ignore them.

It's okay to have different views on the world in general. Your mind has been shaped by the circumstances you were thrown into and it will leave you with a completely different viewpoint on life. It changes how you think about relationships, both romantic and platonic. You will be extra careful with who you let close to you and who you put your trust in because frankly, you're so over dealing with anyone who might leave you hanging again. You'll hate holidays because all they ever were to you were spending the days traveling and being shipped between households (no, getting more presents on Christmas is not worth it, don't joke about it). There's nothing wrong with being a bit more cynical towards the world.

Finally, it's okay to not be okay. There will be times that having a simple conversation with someone about family can trigger an emotional response from you and you won't be able to do anything about it. It will always be a hard topic to talk about because all of the bad drowns out any of the good associations you have with it. It might never matter how long it's been and how far you've managed to distance yourself from those bad memories, it is something that will always be there in your mind, but don't run from it. It made you who you are.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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