Please DO NOT correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that pizza can solve your problems. Okay, maybe not all of them, but definitely some of them.
In the face of tough times, I turn to pizza. In the face of happy times, I also turn to pizza. It really is a win-win situation here. Here's the deal, pizza is a friend and it always will be, that's the most amazing part about it.
When I think of pizza, a swirl of endless memories flood my mind. As the food of choice at every single child birthday party, I think of one of my personal favorite pizzas from my youth. You already know, that cheesy, thin crust goodness that is Chuck E. Cheese pizza. If you think I am the only one who believes their pizza is great, Chuck E. Cheese recently beat Pizza Hut in a blind taste test of 418 participants. WOW.
Pizza, pizza, pizza. Being a northerner, I've had some good pizza. And by good, I mean really good. Like thin crust, cheese dripping off the sides good. In the north, the sauce to cheese to bread ratio is perfection. In the south, not so much. But, that is okay, we're working on it. Reasons like this, have led me to lean on places like Dominos and Pizza Hut, which is completely fine. For now.
Pizza is like a friend. Seriously, think about it. It is the best friend you have ever had because when you need it, it's there, as fast as the delivery man can drive, which is probably faster than your actual friend who is probably doing homework or something.
I appreciate pizza because there is so much variety. If you want to spice it up, add some pepperoni. Feeling funky, order a hawaiian pizza. Lactose intolerant, tomato pie is the choice for you. Skip breakfast, PIZZA BAGELS.
You can eat pizza however you like. You don't need to leave your house if you don't want to. You can eat pizza in sweat pants, in front of you computer screen while Netflixing. You can pay online and stand for only 32 total seconds while the pizza man hands you your meal and you slam the door to go back to bed.
You can eat pizza wearing a dress because there is such thing as gourmet pizza. It costs more and there is fancy toppings so, it is worth it. Instead of mozzarella cheese you can have some burrata. You can switch out your oregano shaker and have some arugula.
Pizza is versatile. Happy, sad, fancy, super unfancy.
I have saved the best thing about pizza for last. If the cheese falls off, you can put it back on. Pizza is indestructible. Other foods, when they fall apart you can't put them back together so yes, pizza is life.
To the inventor of pizza, thank you.