I played sports since the day I stepped onto the softball field at five years old. I was what you would call a "Tom Boy." I loved getting dirty. I poured my heart and soul into my sports from the day I started.
I recently felt inclined to share how all of my sports careers were destroyed the second I walked through the doors of my high school. I was so excited to be playing at the next level! I was excited to continue to play basketball with our strong group of girls, excited to see what roster I would end up on in softball. Little did I know, I wouldn't find a single coach who liked me.
My freshman year basketball coach was always very short with me and I didn't get as much playing time as I expected. I made the JV team, but what was the point of playing left bench? I hustled in practice, never gave up on anything. Why wasn't I getting playing time? Because I had an "attitude problem." NEWS TO ME!
Fast forward to sophomore year softball season. I made the Varsity team. Great! Or maybe not... I got all of the playing time I wanted to get, turns out that's not what makes you love the game. You see, at my high school, if you weren't a favorite, you were garbage. You'll play, but you're just an extra body that needs to be on the field. You won't build a bond with the coach, you'll feel left out on the team. I was apart of a State Championship team that year. This is the one that hurt the most. Softball was MY game since I was five years old, and it was ripped away from me in high school. I had dreams of going on to play in college, but I was told, "You'll never be better than D3." I decided after my Junior year that I was fed up with it, and I turned in my softball bag after 12 years of playing.
Moving on to junior year. I was back at it again on the basketball court. I always told my mom I hated basketball. Maybe I was doing it for her and not wanting to let her down because she played, or maybe deep down I really did love basketball. I was on the Varsity team and wasn't sure how much playing time I would get. I always had, still do have, a negative attitude, and I knew there were so many other girls on the team that were better than me. It was during this season that made me feel so worthless. There were two times in which my coach said to me, "There you are, I couldn't find you." Well that's interesting, I've been sitting here on the bench the whole game, coach. All you had to do was scan down the bench and I guarantee you would've found me. I am still mad that I never asked her about that comment. I don't quite understand how you could lose someone on the bench.
At last, senior year! The year I thought was going to be the best yet. WRONG! We had a new basketball coach, yet I still was not liked. There seems to be a trend going here. All four years of high school and not a single coach that liked me. I was shooting around before practice one day after a game and my coach comes up to me and goes, "I thought you like defense better than offense, apparently not." I'm still not sure what he meant by this, but I took it as, you let someone score, you're not good at defense OR offense. I was a starter for every game, I worked my ass off to be a starter and I made sure that spot wouldn't be taken away from me. I had one of the best seasons that year. I was excited to see what kind of recognition I got in the newspaper that year. I was hoping for first team all conference or second team all conference. HA! I barely squeaked out an honorable mention. It was then that I realized all the hard work and all the time and money my parents and I had put into me being an athlete was basically a waste.
I cried millions of tears. I made memories that I will cherish forever. I will never forget how these coaches ruined my athletic career forever. Because you see, at my high school, it no longer mattered whether you had talent, what mattered was your last name and what others told your coaches.
Schedule, Schedule, Schedule
Perhaps the most crucial part of the semester is knowing what's going on. This can include projects deadlines, special events, visits home and whatever else you may have. A good idea is to make 2 calendars. First is a basic one with your classes, appointments, meetings, and whatever else. The second is the most important one. List out every day until the end of the semester and, when a teacher gives you an assignment, put it on that list. Sometimes you'll luck out and the teacher will give you all assignment due dates on the syllabus. Put them all in at the same time. It doesn't take too long and you'll thank yourself for it later.
Bonus tip: COLOR CODE. Give every class a color, then make sure to include schedule modifications (days off, registration days) as well as special events (such as concerts or shows).
Plan Time with Friends
Photo by Valiant Made on UnsplashThere's nothing worse than not being able to see your friends because of classwork. Plan in some time to get dinner, froyo, or just hang out. This isn't a study session. It's a time to simply relax and enjoy your friends. Everybody needs some time to unwind and there's nothing that helps more than spending time with friends.
Talk to Your Professors
Contrary to popular belief, your professor won't get mad if you go to office hours. In fact, they'll be overjoyed. Can't make office hours? Talk to them and figure out an ideal time for both of you. If your professor isn't awesome and is a grouch about it, go talk to another professor in the department or the department head. While most professors are accommodating, there are a few that aren't. Talking to the department head should help with that.
Take Care of Yourself
Photo by Blanca Paloma Sánchez on UnsplashPerhaps the greatest part of advice I've ever heard is that sometimes you need to cuddle up with some Ben&Jerry's and watch Netflix all night, and that's perfectly fine. Sometimes you need to relax for the night. As long as you aren't procrastinating a project, this is great. Have a treat, do whatever you do to relax and do it. Don't do it every weekend, but if you feel you need a break, take one!
How do You Eat an Elephant?
I used to assist with a training course that helped aspiring leaders and the topic always came up of accomplishing goals. So, let's say you have a big project due on the day of the final. Your teacher told you about it on the first day of class and it's a huge project. The analogy I always use it how you would eat an elephant. Most people say that it's impossible and, when you see the project you will probably think so too. Instead, tackle it as you would the elephant: one bite at a time. Do little bits of the project every week so by the time it's due you haven't pulled three all-nighters. Take it in chunks and you'll thank yourself when it's due.
Keep an Eye on your School's Social Media or Calendar
Photo by Brett Jordan on UnsplashEvery so often there may be something that peaks your interest- a play, a free concert, a lecture, whatever it may be. If you can attend, do it. Most colleges will give free/reduced prices to enrolled students to plays and concerts. Find clubs at your school that are fun clubs- maybe they show movies on the weekend or put on concerts. These all help to break up the monotony of everyday life, plus they're fun!
Talk with your Adviser
Your adviser is great because they know what you need to graduate, which can be one of the most confusing things in your college career. Talk to them at least once per semester and make sure you're on track. They can help you with next semester's classes, as well as offer resources if you're struggling this semester. Never be afraid to admit what's troubling you in a class. If it's something they can help you with, they will. If it's not, they will find somebody who can.
Get Some Sleep
Sure, 2 AM is a really relaxing time to contemplate life, but don't do it all the time. Our bodies need sleep. Try to go to bed at a reasonable hour and make sure you set an alarm (a spare one too if you have a test that day!). A late night every once in a while is fine, but if you start pulling all-nighters all the time you will start to regret it and your grades will sink.
Talk with your Career Center
Photo by The Jopwell Collection on UnsplashHopefully, your school has excellent resources to help get you started in the career process. The real world is extremely daunting. Start off by making an appointment and figuring out what you need to do. Also, keep in mind that certain professions don't necessarily have internships or are a slightly different job application. Maybe your friends already have internships and you don't. That's perfectly natural. You go at your pace on your career path.
Eat Your Vegetables
Yes, I'm going to give you the lecture. But seriously, fruits and veggies give your body necessary nutrients. Eating junk food all the time won't be great for you. Try having a salad every once in a while, and not one of those that is filled with junk. Have a simple garden salad. Opt to have fruit for a snack instead of a whoopie pie. Your body will thank you and you will feel better than if you just ate junk food.
Get Some Fresh Air
This goes along with the fruits and veggies lecture. If you're cooped up inside all day in class, then go back to your dorm, you miss out on the wonderful thing we call the outdoors. Fresh air is so wonderful for the body and you will thank yourself. Don't just open a window and think that's enough. Go outside and feel the air on your skin, breathe it in, and hear the sounds of campus. Once it's warmer weather outside, do your homework outside, play frisbee in the quad, and go for walks with friends.
And there you have it. Here's hoping that you survive this semester! (You will because you're awesome)
Toilet Troubles
"So, usually I would never go on a Tinder date but when you are out with girlfriends and a hot Bosnian guy says he wants to hang with you and his friends, you oblige. We head to their apartment and when I realized I may pee my pants if I don't find a bathroom soon. I ask for the bathroom and a friend of my tinder date shows me to it and said in all seriousness that I was not allowed to flush the toilet under ANY circumstances. Having a few drinks--or five--I relieved myself to, nevertheless, flush the toilet. Within seconds, his bathroom was flooded and towels were laid out everywhere to catch the toilet water. To say the least, we were not invited back"
Buckaroo
"In freshman year of college, after a breakup, I decided to get a Tinder. After talking to this guy for a like week, he asked me to come to his rodeo where he was a bronco rider, a couple hours away. After making the distance, I found myself in a small town in Nebraska sitting in some dirty bleachers, thinking, 'Whatever. He could totally still be cool.' Then he walks up to me and in the thickest southern twang I have ever heard, says 'Hey Sweetheart, so glad ya made yer way down!" That is when I decided I would never go on a Tinder date without making a phone call first."
"Wing Woman"
"A couple weeks ago, I went on a Tinder date and brought along my best friend to be my "wing woman." My date decided he wanted my best friend over me so I third wheeled on my own date."
The Overeager Matcher
"I matched with this guy and we talked for a couple of days. Then, without warning, he showed up to my residence hall and told me once he was there. I didn't tell him where I lived. I told him I was out of town at the moment and proceeded to unmatch him."
Taco Bell Drive Thru
"The guy bragged about how many beers he could drink when, clearly, he had never had alcohol in his life. Oh, and he was thirty minutes late. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he took me to a Taco Bell drive thru since we missed our dinner reservations, where he spilled his drink all over my dress, blamed ME for being in the way (which I wasn't) and didn't apologize! Needless to say, there was no second date, but he still watches all my snap stories."
Coffin Factory
"I drove half an hour away to meet this boy at 2 am out of boredom and he said he smoked weed so I was like cool. The address he gave me turned out to be a factory on an empty road. I got there and he was like, oh it's my dad's factory and I was sleeping in the office. Then asked if I wanted to go inside. I should mention it was a coffin factory at this point. I never got out of my car."
The Teacher's Assistant
"I was swiping through Tinder and matched with this guy. We talked for a few days and I knew he was a little older than me as his Tinder said 24 and I was 18. He asked if I wanted to get milkshakes and take a break from finals studying and I said yes. I got milkshakes and fries with him so we went back to his place and hooked up. I was telling my friends later and one of them said, wait, was his name Jake*? Apparently, he sounded like her hot interpretations of literature TA. I showed her some pictures and it was the SAME GUY. He was actually 34 with an ex wife and two kids."
The Relatable Date
"Nothing really went wrong. I was just awkward and therefore it was cringey."
They talk to you like you're one of the guys, but you will NEVER EVER be included in "Bro" things
Because even though you were "one of the guys" just moments before, suddenly there is some sort of top secret information that would require some serious breaching of the "bro code" to let you in on, and we can't have that can we.
Even though you've heard the words, "Not you, a real girl" more times than you can count.
Here's just one example of this from my life:
Friend: I wish a girl would wear a dress for me.
Me: I can wear a dress next time we hang out.
Friend: Not you, a REAL girl.
You need to caption almost every picture with a disclaimer that you aren't dating...
However, almost every single comment will still be, "Are you two dating or something?"
But at the same time, you never know whether or not to be offended when they say they'd never date you...
Really, I will never know whether or not I'm offended every time they tell me this, but at the same time I don't want to date them either. You get it.
And your other friends are constantly telling you you were destined to be with each other.
They'll go as far as to write you a list of reasons if you don't believe them. It'll be a long, never ending list. Don't be fooled by this list though. YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.
You'd get all the girls if you were a boy because you walk them through how to get girls almost daily...
I'm not going to lie, I feel like I deserve all the credit for any girl any of my friends have successfully talked to.
That being said, you have an opinion on EVERY girl they show you, and you aren't afraid to share it...
These opinions are usually not good opinions, but it's OK, because it isn't like he's going to listen anyway.
But they have opinions too, and that's why they'll be the first to tell you when a guy isn't treating you right... and then they'll do exactly the same thing to some girl a few days later...
However, they will deny this a million times and they will never admit that it's anything like what said boy did to you.
And if they do happen to have a girl in their lives, she most likely hates you, because you know him better than she ever will...
This doesn't require anything more. It's just true.
But even after all that, you wouldn't trade them for the world.
You guys know who you are.
Share this with your guy best friend to show them how much you love them (:
1. "You pay for your friends."
If I “pay for my friends”, I sure as hell don’t pay enough. There is no price you can put on the friendships and bonds you form through Greek life.
2. "All you do is party."
Do you think I have time to just party when my schedule is jammed packed with extracurriculars, classes, and work? Think again.
3. "You guys all look the same."
Actually we don’t. We pride ourselves on being diverse, caring more about character rather than physical appearances.
4. "You don't actually care about your Philanthropy."
This one honestly might make me the most annoyed. Philanthropy is actually one of the main reasons some of us wanted to join, to begin with, and our events we host raise a ton of money to give back to those causes.
5. "Bigs and littles are stupid/annoying."
I'm sorry close friendships and happiness irritate you? Maybe focus on yourself some more.
6. "I would never want to be a part of that."
Once again, totally fine if you have no interest in joining Greek life whatsoever. But it's always kind of rude when you have someone reiterating over and over how much they would never ever associate with anything Greek life.
7. "You're wasting your money."
Just like how it's none of my business how you spend your money, it's not any of yours how I am spending mine.
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