You feel absolutely helpless. You don't always understand the terms that are being thrown around by doctors, and you don't know why this is happening. You have no control. It feels as though you live at the hospital. Your parent is very sick, and you don't know what the future holds for them.
It's wearing on you and you're trying to remain strong, but inside, you feel as though you are falling apart. Walking on eggshells has become your lifestyle, and you are always living on the edge, waiting for the next bad phone call or ambulance ride.
It doesn't seem fair, your friends may not be going through this, and you feel like no one can relate to you. You know friends mean well when they say, "stay strong," but sometimes you feel unable to do so, and it feels like no one really understands. When people ask you how you are, you quickly try to say you're fine without tears forming. You struggle to express how you really feel, because honestly, you don't really know. Sometimes you feel numb, other times, everything seems really overwhelming and scary. To you, it's embarrassing that you seem to just randomly cry and you feel like that is showing weakness. Here's a secret, it's OK to not be OK sometimes. What you and your family are going through is extremely difficult.
What you must remember is that no one can tell you how to react, no one should shame you for acting or feeling a specific way. What ever way helps you deal with all this and helps you cope with the situation is what you should do. No one is to tell you they know how you feel or tell you what's a right or wrong way to react.
It's as though your sick parent is a different person, after them being able to take care of you for so many years with working long hours and always being in the front row of the stands and seats at your games and concerts, they can't promise this anymore. Your parent, who once seemed invincible, someone you thought would never get sick and "it couldn't happen to them,"F is now laying in a hospital bed. Now, your helping them open pill bottles and stand up. Why has this happened?
No, you do not know why this is happening and what is the plan, but you do know that the hands that created this world are holding you. In the moment, it may not feel like God is there, but He is. I promise you He is, and He promises, too. He will never leave or forsake us. Some days, this may feel as though it is not true, but the Lord has a plan for your life and your parent's, and a reason for what you are going through. No one can comfort us better than our Savior.
Personally, I'm facing this. I have a sick parent and I am doing everything I can to not become bitter and angry because of all of this. It's easy to become resentful of your situation, but I am trying to trust God to the best of my ability. I'm trying to take each day at a time.
No matter what happens, I can have confidence in Christ. No matter what happens, I will love my sick parent and do everything I can to help. No matter how many days are left, I will try my best to be brave. No matter what happens, I am not facing this alone.
