If you're reading this, I know that you’ve been feeling very up and down lately since you broke up with who you believed to be the man of your dreams. You go through bouts of hopefulness, an optimistic high that reminds you that you are beautiful and smart and that any guy would be lucky to have you. You think about how grateful you are to be free from all the drama and confusion and heartbreak that your past relationship brought you. You get excited to fall in love again, to meet a man that you can be happy with in a way you never could be with your past lover.
Then, you go through valleys of despair. You think about how you’ll never find a person as close to perfection as your ex was. You’ll have to go your entire life without laughing as hard, without thinking as deeply, without loving as intensely.
And sometimes you feel right in-between. You are hopeful that you could possibly get back together, but anxious because you have no idea what that could bring. Perhaps that would mean that you’d be right back in the same boat again, having to act a certain way to make sure he’ll still want you tomorrow. Or, maybe, everything would be perfect, and this breakup would just make your love story more beautiful and real. The uncertainty eats away your energy until all you want to do is sleep, and you go around and around this circle in your mind as you lie in bed, never knowing which mood you’ll wake up in when you open your eyes in the morning.
I’m here to tell you that everything will be alright. What’s done is done, and what’s going to happen in the future, will happen in the future. The only thing you have control over is you, right now, in this current moment. Don’t worry about needing to find love again to be happy. Don’t worry about “fixing” yourself so you can be with someone in the future.
Don’t even worry about the pain you feel right now. Just feel it. Appreciate the reason you’re so heartbroken. You had a person in your life that impacted you, made you grow, taught you a lesson. Let yourself cry like an idiot in front of the people you trust. Text your ex a few times, and allow yourself to feel the regret of doing so, like you just ripped the couple of stitches you had actually managed to put into your heart to heal it.
And, soon, everything will get easier.
The only thing you need to do right now is take care of you. Wear the clothes that you stopped wearing because your ex didn't like them. Eat too much ice cream this week. Decide to start an exercise routine because it makes you feel strong and good about yourself.
And more than anything, remember that no matter what happens, time heals all wounds and you’re strong enough to make sure you live a happy life.
