First off I want to start by saying, I hate you. I hate you for so many reasons. And I know hate is such a strong word, but it’s the only word that comes to mind when I see something that reminds me of you. I hate that you took advantage of a girl who was so willing to love you with every fiber in her being. I hate that I let you destroy me, and I let myself become someone unrecognizable. I hate all the time I put into our relationship, just for it all to still not be good enough for you. I hate that you ruined love for me.

I will never understand what I did for you to treat me the way that you did, like I was nothing. I became an emotional punching bag, someone you could just scream at and let all your frustration out on when something didn’t go your way. No matter how good my day was, you had a way of turning the conversation back around to you and your negativity. I couldn’t even have a life outside of our relationship. I couldn’t be with my friends or family because it didn’t involve you. You were selfish.

Now when I think of love, all I can think about is a shell of a person left bitter and empty after someone has left them to fend for themselves. How a person thinks it's fun to play games with another’s heart and ruin their perception of love. It almost feels like I can’t love anymore, I build so many walls and keep people out. Nothing is the same anymore. I don’t feel the same, I don’t act the same, I don’t even look the same. You took something so precious from me, and I thought there was no way of getting back.

But somehow, I’m getting it back. I’m slowly learning to love again. I’m somehow learning how to get up and face people again, to not be scared that every boy I meet is going to destroy me like you did. I’m slowly rebuilding the relationships I lost when I was with you. I’m slowly erasing every trace that I have of you.

Because of you I learned to stand up for myself, and I truly believe you made me into the confident person I am today. No matter what you may have done, I know I will make it through. Maybe nothing is the same, but maybe I like it this way. I’ve learned to love myself, in a way I never would have before you. So now, without you, I am finally learning to love again.

So to the boy who ruined love for me but taught me the most valuable lesson in life, screw you but also thanks.