Hey,
I just wanted to tell you a few things that have been on my mind lately. I guess with college starting and having to completely start over, I remember the past. You were the biggest part of my high school, but high school is over now, and I've moved on. But here are a few thoughts on our relationship:
I remember the good along with the bad
I remember the first day I met you, the first day you said I love you and the first day I realized I loved you also. But I also remember when you ignored me on my birthday, when you always ditched me for your friends and when you used to always lie to me. Our relationship had it’s up's and downs, but when we got back together for the second time it only had its downs. We weren’t a good match. I used to think that opposites attract, but I now know that can only go to a certain degree before it no longer works.
I don’t miss you, I miss the way you used to be
I don’t miss the insults. I don’t miss the drugs. I miss the boy who played nerd games and made pterodactyl noises. The first year of our relationship was the happiest time of my high school career. I had this cute football playing boyfriend that loved me and I could always depend on. When I first met you, you were the kind of guy that was 100% himself and had no cares for what anyone else thought. But as time went on, you changed, you were no longer the boy I fell in love with.
Sorry I wasn’t enough
I’m sorry that I’m not as in shape as you wanted me to be. I’m sorry that I worry and stress too much and you find it annoying. I’m sorry that I wasn’t into the same things you were. I’m sorry that I was independent and had my own opinions. I never seemed to be enough for you, every time you thought someone else was better you would leave. I should have just let you stay gone.
Thank you for ending things
Thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for playing with my emotions. Thank you for walking away fine, while I was crushed. I learned that not everyone who says they care about you actually does. I’m so thankful to not be with you anymore. I have never been more miserable than when I was with you last year. You made me feel insignificant, and I don’t want to feel like that anymore.
I hope you find what you’re looking for
I hope you find someone who loves you for you. I hope you find someone that you can be yourself with. I hope you find someone that helps you be the best you can be. I genuinely hope that you end up happy. While I look back on our relationship in a negative way, I know that you weren’t always like that and that I made mistakes also. You told me this past January that I’m going to find someone who deserves me and will love me. I hope you find that also.
Thanks for the memories,
XOXO Grace