To the girl I thought I could call my "best friend forever,"
I remember one of the first times we hung out...many years ago. I remember when we first started hanging out during our brothers' football games. I remember every homecoming, every high school football game, every mall trip, every concert, every family event, every holiday we spent together. I remember every pun I made that you absolutely hated and every Cian Twomey video that we died laughing at. I remember prom and graduation. I remember the very few times you came to see me once we started college. I remember sitting in your car at the park, crying because of how downhill our friendship had gone and how you said you should've been a better friend through my struggles this past summer.
I still wish I could call you my best friend. I still wish I could you my significant otter, my biffle, my sister, my family. You have meant the world to me for so long, but I now know that the feeling is no longer mutual.
I thought we would be best friends forever. I thought you would be my maid of honor, one of the few people to go wedding dress shopping with me, the aunt to my children, forever my shoulder to cry on.
I must admit...I am bitter. I'm bitter, sad, angry, hurt, disappointed, confused. You were more than a best friend...you were family. You were the one person I trusted with all my secrets, all my thoughts and feelings. We know eachother better than anybody else. How can you just throw that away?
Whatever ended this friendship...whether it be a guy, a fight, something I said or did, just you getting sick of me...I'm sorry. I wish you the best on the rest of your journey through life and I wish I could continue to join you.
I hope your new best friend can fill the gaps that I could not. I hope she knows how you eat bananas to calm down, especially when you have your period. I hope she knows about your Kesha phase. I hope she knows how much you love The Notebook and 10 Things I Hate About You. I hope she randomly sings Disney songs, especially High School Musical, with you. I hope she takes goofy pictures with you. I hope you two almost accidentally "burn down the house" while making pizza (not actually...but I hope you make a memory like that). I hope your dog likes her...she never liked much of anybody. I hope your grandma likes her and treats her like her own granddaughter...I know she did with me.
I could never thank you enough for everything you taught me in our years together. You taught me how to open up to somebody and be so completely raw around them. You taught me how to be optimistic...you always were the positive one in our friendship. You saw passed my anxiety and my flaws and accepted me for me, even when I couldn't even do so. I am so grateful to have been able to call you my best friend.
Even though I've packed up all our pictures, all our gifts...I still want you to know that you will forever mean the world to me. The memories are just too painful right now. They say that relationship breakups hurt...but I've never felt a pain like this. It's like I'm missing a large piece of myself.
Overall, I hope she can be the best friend I couldn't be. I'm sorry.
Sincerely,
The Josh to your Tyler
