Dear A.,

Your short hair is beautiful. So was your long hair. You have gorgeous hair. Wear it with confidence no matter how it’s styled. Don’t cut it for anyone but yourself, but cut it because you want to be a better you, not a better someone else. You can’t be someone else because you’re you, and you have a place to fill in the world that no one else can. No one else will have your hair. No one else will have your smile. No one else will have the same kind of sunshine around them, because these things are all yours.

Friends will come and go, A. There will be very few people who actually stick around for keeps in your life, and that’s OK. But the girls who told you to cut your hair aren’t your friends at all. Anyone who makes you feel devalued and uncomfortable in your own skin is not a friend. You don’t need to care about what they think of you, because I promise that in a few years you and they will forget about each other. You’ll forget because it doesn’t matter. People will say crazy things to you out of insecurity, jealousy, and hatred, and you’ll just have to ignore it. None of it is true. None of it matters. Listen to the people who love you — your family and the friends who build you up.

I am so proud of you for being determined to work hard and get good grades next year. You’ll be in fourth grade, in a new class with new friends and a new teacher and new things to learn. Don’t get stuck thinking about the bad things that happened to you last year — there are too many things to look forward to. You are going to have a great year and do great things. Smile. Laugh. Cry if you have to; it’s OK to cry. Remember that you are beautiful on the inside, which makes you even more beautiful on the outside. Remember that you were created for a special reason and that the world would not be complete without you. Remember that you are lovely and loved, valuable and valued, even when you don’t feel that way. Your worth is not determined by the words and actions of anyone around you. It was determined long before you were born, and as long as you remember that, you won’t have to worry about the opinions of people who’ve forgotten their own worth.

Because that’s the truth about people who want to make you feel worthless: they feel worthless themselves. And they don’t want to be alone. So rather than choosing to remember how valued they are, they try to drag other people down with them. You can help them, sweetheart. You can remind them that they are each special in a way no one else will ever be. Believing in your own worth will make it easier for you to help others remember theirs.

A., you are one of a kind. Your smile lights up the whole room. You are beautiful. Never forget that.

Love,

Sarah