This piece is inspired by Virginia Woolf's A Room Of One's Own, which was written nearly 90 years ago. It is saddening to look at the comparisons between her words, and the reality concerning the same issues today. I urge you to read her piece before reading this one, to see that even though we have come a long way, we still have many similarities to those times that we shouldn't.
It is unethical to ignore these statements commonly made in the world today. Women are not as capable as men because – well, whatever reason the speaker prefers. Maybe now, it is better just to give up fighting for equality and listening to other’s opinions that happen to be stubborn as brick, divided as two lands separated by the Pacific. Yes, it would be best to turn off the TV, to stop reading the magazines, to take matters into your own hands, to stop listening to everyone and ask the sociologist, who sees things not as opinions, but rather how they really are, to describe how women are truly perceived, not throughout history, but in America today.
For it is shocking that this country has not had women leaders when every man seems to have the clearest ability to do so. What made the upbringings of women so different, I asked myself; for leadership, as creative as it is, is not learned like a multiplication table, as math and science may be; leadership is like a parachute, something that lifts everyone up, but is anchored by many people keeping it in place. Usually, the ones holding it down are not what we end up looking at; the President, for example, seems to be completely independent and in control. But when the entire parachute is perceived, handles on all the edges, some slight rips in the middle, we remember that one person did not achieve everything on his own, but the achievements are of a silent, obedient team, and are sickly attached to the digital world, like smartphones, Twitter, and being the first – and best – to release a new story.
I decided, therefore, to go online, and to search the issues of how women are perceived. Google search: “Women in the Media.” A variety of headlines appeared: “Megyn Kelly Wore Spaghetti Straps and People Lost It,” and “Wife of a Bears’ Lineman Wins a Bronze Medal Today in Rio Olympics.” Does she have a name? This is happening today, nearly 100 years after women were given the right to vote. Yet, these stories are still spread out to the world: “Are All Beautiful Women Boring?” Well, if we must look into it, Sara Blakely started Spanx with $5,000 savings, and now owns 100% of the $400 million company; Michelle Obama holds two Ivy League degrees, and created a national campaign to have healthier eating in schools; Kate Middleton supports a variety of charities. Not many would argue that these women are not attractive. One does not have to be a researcher to name a woman who is interesting and beautiful – Sara Blakely, Michelle Obama, Kate Middleton, Princess Diana, Emily Dickinson, Gloria Steinem, Madeleine Albright, Katie Couric, Barbara Walters, among the politicians, writers, and reporters; then among the entertainers: Beyoncé, Helen Murin, Serena Williams, Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Lady Gaga – it really is not that difficult to recall intelligent, successful women, who are also pretty. If women did not have a place in gossip columns and entertainment talk shows, one might think of them as talented, strong and powerful, well-informed, creative, heroes, equal to men, some, above. But this is the woman that is engrained in the minds of people everywhere. In every magazine, she is judged for how she looks and what she says.
A peculiar picture arises. In her own mind, she is the most confident person in the room, but to everyone else, she is overbearing, a know-it-all. She is noted as in perfect physical health in her doctor’s office, but on TV, they show a picture of her and tell her to “lay off of the McDonald’s”. She speaks some of the most intelligent words we’ve ever heard; but they are ignored, to instead pay attention to her wardrobe malfunction afterward. She is the fastest runner in her elementary gym class, but she is told she runs like a man.
This version of a too-powerful woman was somehow made up through years of manipulation in the media – slivered into our minds like a snake; a bold woman being shrunken by words said through a television screen. But it must be made clear that these “too-powerful women”, no matter how much we are made to believe so, do not exist. A man can own everything in the world – but he is not too powerful. What will it take for society to be convinced that this woman – Jessica Owens, aged thirty, physically fit body, pretty face; can also be the things a man can be – mentally strong, able to speak her mind, friendly, the most powerful person in the room. When one tries to label a female celebrity or politician as all of these things, however, it simply cannot be. She must have a secret agenda or has gotten work done to her body, there is no way she is faithful to her husband, her clothes do not match. She is mysterious; surely, there is an evil side to her that she hides from us. I look at the top news stories for today–
“Viacom Names Bob Bakish as Permanent CEO”....“Goldman Sachs Exec Gary Cohn is Pick For Economics Post”... “Losing Ryan Tannehill Won’t Hurt The Dolphins’ Playoff Chances”... “Trump Calls Cost of F-35 Fighter Jet ‘Out of Control.’” In all, there are 38 news stories listed on the page and one woman’s name. The headline is that “Trump Considers Carly Fiorina for National Intelligence Director,” and the sub-headline is that she was “escorted by Kellyanne Conway into Trump Tower.” Nothing is listed about her achievements, but rather, how another attractive woman was friendly to her and helped her into the building, where she will be considered for a position, by a man– what an achievement. These are the stories that are representing our country, and our world– where are the stories of women making a difference; running companies; working with men; or working against one, without being called a bitch; where are the stories of women winning, who won without sleeping their way to the top? They are few and far between; hard to find– not because they do not exist, because they indeed do, in plentiful amounts, but because they are not regularly shared, or seen as important in society. They hide behind stories of catfights, haircuts, expensive dresses, and scandalous nights. It is a shame because of course, Eleanor Roosevelt had an influence on the world; Rosa Park’s actions are remembered as some of the bravest, and most powerful, of all time; Meryl Streep just broke a record by earning her 30th Golden Globe nomination, the most out of any actor in history. But when little girls are waiting for their dentist appointments, they will read the magazines on the table how women “actually” are– Too covered up, or if not that, then slutty, for not wearing the right clothing, evil for saying anything that offends someone, ugly if she doesn’t wear makeup when she is at the gym. I like to think of what it would be like if a woman was president, but then, she’d have to climb over all these obstacles. A puppy could not survive the climb of Mt. Everest. A woman could not be president.
I look at the list of all the US Presidents in the history of this country. It seems it would have been more impossible for a woman to become president in Lincoln’s, or Roosevelt’s time, but what about now? What if President Obama had a sister– a beautiful, intelligent sister– let’s call her Olivia. Now Barack and Olivia had the same upbringing, they didn’t grow up rich, necessarily, but worked very hard, and achieved a lot through hard work. Barack went to Harvard; Olivia went to Yale. Both having the same amount of creative gifts, but they are treated very differently. Barack was repeatedly one step ahead of Olivia, closer with, and more respected by, the professors, received more internships and opportunities, and looked at as charismatic and charming, though Olivia–who acted the same– was conniving and full of secrets. She was always watched a little more carefully. They both ended up getting married– while Barack’s marriage was looked at as a completeness to him, Olivia’s gained her a little more respect than she had before, without that ring on her left hand. They both found successful jobs, and Barack made change, while whenever Olivia tried, she caused an inconvenience, she was trying to do too much. Then, they both ran for president: Barack was loved by the people, known as a great speaker, and one who was going to change the country for the better; while Olivia, though equally as qualified, was often criticized for her looks, for speaking too much or too harshly, and was said to be evil and dramatic when she said even the most vague of a statement– no matter what she did, she could not be trusted. She had no chance to be president, not because of where she came from, her level of education, or plans to move the country forward– Simply because the media saw her as a women, and therefore, that is how she was perceived.
Her plans will never be put into action, her words will never be labeled as “the president said,” she will simply fade away, as another powerful woman who was no match for the media’s power to destroy. But, she has to be remembered. The fight must go on, it must continue. For it is true– it is fact– that women are powerful, intelligent, beautiful; they have the immense opportunity to create in this world, and make a difference. However, this change must begin with you and me– we must recognize this fact as the ultimate truth, and stand against whenever it is perceived otherwise. Then, one day, when a woman becomes president, we will remember Olivia, Streep, Roosevelt, Diana, Park, and all women who fought for change– because they did make a difference. It is because of them that we fight, and it is because of their struggles, that we will win, and stand on our own.