You are a warrior.
This election season has been a roller coaster of emotions. I am so sorry. I wish I could hug you right now and talk with you about how you're handling the results of the 2016 Presidential Election.
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The results are hard for me to stomach.
I was never a huge supporter of Donald Trump and his incredibly crass words. I tried to wait on making a final decision about him until November came around. Maybe my dislike of Trump was a hasty and unfair estimation of him. I was patient in hopes of better news to come.
The first sexual assault allegation that was brought forward against Trump gave me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The graphic detail of his description of grabbing a woman's vagina and conversation with Billy Bush in 2005 terrified me. And this was not an unfounded allegation created in sketchy shadows; the accusation was brought out along with video evidence.
As if one sexual allegation was not enough to leave a country of voters uneasy, more and more women have stepped forward, gaining courage from one another, sharing their testimonies. There are at least 16 different sexual assault/misconduct events on this timeline, each involving one or more women. These women were reporters writing articles about Trump, contests in pageants that Trump owned, or they just happened to be in the same vicinity as Trump.
You've gone through sexual assault before. You know the pain and fear that comes with sharing your story and hoping that people believe that your hurt is real. The part that became the final straw for me was Donald Trump's reaction to the allegations. He has not only called these women liars but also insinuated that they are not physically attractive enough to be molested (Trump's reactions here). Instead of simply choosing to confirm or deny the testimonies, Trump decided to attack these women and their word. I don't know your whole story. Everyone that you told may have believed you, or maybe no one did. You are still loved. You have a voice.
The moment that I read about Donald Trump's reactions was the one in which I solidified my decision not to vote for Trump to become our next president. More often than not, Trump is disrespectful to minorities, women, soldiers, people he disagrees with, and other people that are targeted. There was no way that I in good conscience could justify voting for Donald Trump (but I respect your right to vote for whatever living, human candidate that you choose). I refuse to say hateful things to voters who made different choices than I did. We are all still citizens of the same country. I hope you choose love as well.
I have been sexually assaulted. I've looked a police officer in the eyes as he told me that he would not be reporting my incident as sexual assault because the perpetrator had not said anything sexual. At the time I took the officer's word and retracted into myself to hide from the pain. It hurts to have your voice taken away from you. I understand that. I have felt the survivor's guilt of other people suffering more, and tried to take the responsibility for being assaulted. What could I have done to protect myself? Why was it me? You may have gone through similar emotions in the aftermath of being assaulted. You are not alone in this journey of healing.
In this new chapter of our country's story please remember that what was done to you is not your identity. The choices that other men or women have made do not define you. You are precious. You are worth long conversations that help the other person get to know you better. You deserve someone who cares about you.
As hard as these moments are for you, the world is not ending. You have the freedom to grieve and hurt if you are pained by the results. You have the freedom to rejoice if that is the emotion that you feel right now.
Please know above anything else that you are loved, and you are not alone.
-M
