Working with kids is rewarding beyond financial measures. It reminds me to be grateful for what I have. It keeps me on my toes (not too sure if that's a pro or a con but let's just say a pro for the time being). Another one of the many reasons it's rewarding - it allows me to constantly reflect on myself to be a better person. How do I want these kids to see and view me? It challenges me to hold myself accountable as an example for my students (the whole “practice what you preach" thing). It also allows me to look at life through their eyes. Seeing how challenging their childhood is to them and how they are balancing so much at such a young age. It makes me wish I could go back in time to tell my younger self to not take life for granted. Or to tell myself to appreciate childhood because so many children don't get that privilege to have a childhood. Many kids don't get to only worry about their soccer practice later on. It makes me really think about what I would tell my younger self. What matters, what doesn't. Who matters, and who doesn't.
If I could go back in time to tell myself some important lessons, I would say:
Live presently in today and not constantly worry about tomorrow. All the energy and thoughts I put on tomorrow and planning for the future, took away from me being completely present in the present. Instead of enjoying the stage and moment that I'm in, I overlooked it and focused on days that I don't even know are promised to me.
Don't go to bed upset at anyone. No one is promised to wake up. I think the first time you go to sleep mad or angry at someone, it becomes easy to do. Don't let it become easy. Push yourself to be the bigger person and forgive or reach out. Holding the grudge will just harden your heart and take away moments of happiness you could share with that person.
Toxic is toxic, family included. Stop allowing negative people in your life. Period, point blank. Your happiness and mental health is worth way more than to allow toxic, unhealthy relationships in your life. You deserve good relationships that build you up and support you.
Don't run after a relationship. This something that I constantly remind myself but I wish I had the tough conversations about relationships when I was younger. Whether it be a friendship or a relationship, just let it be. Don't force anything to happen or force it stay alive. If someone wants to bounce out of your life, let them. And if they stay out of your life, that's what is meant to be. If they come back, that time apart might have been the best thing for the relationship/friendship. Focus on those that want to be in your life and less on those who don't.
Check yourself. Make sure that you are following the expectations that you ask from others. You want honesty? Be honest. You don't want someone talking about you? Don't talk or gossip about others. You want people to take accountability for their actions? You need to own up to your mistakes and actions. The more you mirror what you want, the more people will follow your lead. You can't talk the talk and not proceed with actions that are parallel.
Learn to put yourself first. Put more time into yourself. Make yourself a priority. We put everyone and everything on the table that we forget to put ourselves on the list to take care of. Even if it's once a week (really it should be AT LEAST once a day but I can compromise and agree to once a week), go the spa or get a manicure. Even something as simple as a bath and listening to music that makes you feel good.
Make happiness your number one goal in life. Happiness is an unseen goal and unspoken of need. When we're asked, “what do you want to be when you're older?" We think of multiple scenarios and careers but we never mention happiness. Go after happiness. Find what makes you happy and hold onto it.
Travel more, money comes and goes. You'll never regret site seeing countries and states. I'm always creating bucket lists on Pinterest or looking up inclusive cruises but I never follow through. I'm always trying to save my money - for what? I have no idea. News flash Maria - the money doesn't go with you in the grave. The best way to spend your money is by traveling. You get to see history, different cultures and people, and gain so much more that money couldn't replace.
Vent with caution. I think it is completely healthy to voice your feelings (duh, counselor over here), just be cautious of what you are sharing and with who. If you can turn to one person only and trust them with all confidence, good for you. There are other ways to vent too: write it out, yell it into a pillow, exercise, pray...etc. I say be cautious because sometimes when I'm pissed, I'm going to say stuff I most likely don't mean. Sometimes that someone that I'm venting to is listening for all the wrong reasons. I know that it feels better to talk to another human being about what's going on and that's why I say, "proceed with caution".
Stay neutral with everyone. Never say never to friendships or relationships. It's just not worth it to burn bridges with people over the small stuff. Try not to take sides in arguments because it will put you in the middle and cause tension. The two main people in the argument will make up and that leaves you where? You'll find yourself in an awkward place while the other two have forgiven and moved on. Don't add on drama to your plate; life is stressful at times and uncontrollable things occur. Try to control what you can - getting yourself in someone else's problem - and put your energy towards something else.
Be Thankful. Don't wait for a holiday to express your thanks. Don't wait for something good or bad to remind you to be thankful. Be grateful for your highs and lows because those are the reasons you grow into a better person. If we wrote our battles on a piece of paper and put them in a hat with everyone else's - you will want to grab your own challenges back. It might not be rosé all day but your life is beautiful. Be thankful you are awake and breathing.
Love, love, love your dad. You won't have him for too long. Every time he grounds you, hug him. Every time he annoys you, hug him. Just love him all the time. Actually, just love everyone. Your dad, your mom, your brother...humans in general. Life is way too short to fill your heart and mind with hate. You have no idea when our time will end so spend every moment expressing your love to the people who matter. We spend way too much arguing on the little stuff (and sometimes the big stuff, too) that takes way too much time away from those that we love.
These are all things that I have messed up with. I haven't done a good job staying cordial with people or kind to everyone I've met. These are principles and lessons I've learned through the hard times that I wish I could have told myself back when I was younger. These are some of the many, many things I wish I well versed with through childhood. Also into the teenage years. And my adulthood (weird, I'm considered an adult...). Looking back on my childhood and what I would tell my younger self, are the same things I try to tell myself today. These aren't just lessons that apply to me as child. They apply to my every day.
If it was you, what would you tell your younger self? Take those things and start applying them to your life today.