All my life, the song “You are my Sunshine” has been a constant reminder of my beautiful, crazy, one-of-a-kind mom. It is a song that is so simple yet holds such a big piece of my heart. Not just because my mom sang it to me as a young girl but also because it holds so many memories and struggles that one clings onto forever. To me, they are so much more than just lyrics to a child’s lullaby.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine”

As a child, it was just my mom and I for quite some time. Together we have been through hell and back—for reasons irrelevant—to this day. Of course, I was so young that I never fully understood some of the things we had gone through, but I do know that without each other in those dark times we would not have made it through as strong as we did. The sun gives the world life the same way my mom gave me life and continues to make my life worth living. We were alone because she was brave enough to leave; we made it out because we are an unbreakable team and each other’s sun on the cloudiest of days.

“You make me happy, when skies are gray”

Although the darkest of days have come and gone, there are still times I question things in life. Those are days I consider “gray” and those are also the days I call my mother looking for some sort of strength, wisdom or encouragement. Through each other’s lowest of lows and highest of highs, we have stuck by one another no matter what. In this life I have learned, people tend to come and go but she does not, just like the sun. Even through the coldest, windiest and strongest of storms the sun still remains and so does my mother, as I will for her.

“You’ll never know dear, how much I love you”

Without my mom I would be nowhere near who I am today. I wouldn’t be as strong, stubborn-headed or big-hearted. I wouldn’t be as kind-gestured or loving towards other people. Watching her through her struggles has made me into just a younger, much simpler version of herself. She was all I had for the longest time and sometimes in this cruel, scary and unwelcoming world, I still feel like she is all I have. But to me that’s OK, because when the going gets rough, she knows how to fix it. When I need a pick me up, she knows just how to make me laugh. She knows my deepest of secrets as I know hers. She is the one I tell everything to. She is my person. The love I have for my mom is indescribable. She truly never will know how much I love and appreciate everything about her.

“Please don’t take my sunshine away”

The day I no longer have my sunshine is a day I don’t even like to think about. I honestly, can never picture a life without her. It will become my darkest day, my loneliest night and my hardest struggle. Thanks to the lessons she has already taught me and the many more to come, I know I will make it through. I know this because every day that I wake up and see the sun, she will still be there doing what she always does, making my days brighter, happier and worth living.

Thank you for constantly being my sun.

I love you forever,

Your sunshine.