Most of the time, when someone has a baby, they don’t plan on raising it alone. Ideally, there’s someone there to do it with them; they're in it as a team. Through the extremely difficult times as well as the great ones, there’s supposed to be someone there to experience it all with you. However, that unfortunately isn’t always the case. Sometimes, a person is left alone to make decisions, handle business and attempt to form a human spirit by themselves.
My mom didn’t have me and my little brother with the intention of spending years parenting by herself. We were both brought into the world through a loving marriage, and for years I had the blessing of having two amazing parents. However, when addiction entered our home and our lives, my mom suddenly found herself in the role of both mother and father.
I cannot begin to imagine what it was like for my mom. We have an incredible relationship, and the hardships our family went through brought us closer. Even though I am the daughter, I know there were more times than I could count that my mom felt desperately alone. Times were extremely hard for our family, and she was the only adult functioning and holding it all together all the while trying to be the best parent she could be.
Mom, I know you got completely screwed over. On the days my brother and I were born, you didn’t hold us in the hospital expecting one day to be in the position we were thrown into. You didn’t anticipate parenting alone. But you have done a hell of a job.
Throughout everything, you have managed to hold a job, keep food on the table and be there for us for anything we needed. You have been a role model and the person who can always make me laugh until it hurts. When I was an over-emotional teenager, you remained patient and guided me. You continue to guide me every day.
It’s extremely difficult to put my immense love and gratitude for you into words. Solely because of you, my life has been filled with happiness, blessings and opportunity. Not only have we made it through, but we have thrived even though it doesn’t always feel that way.
I know our family isn’t conventional, and there have been days where it’s impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But you have given me more than I could ever possibly ask for. It hasn’t always been easy, but I know that one day I hope to be even half the mother to my children that you have been to me, all by yourself.
