Hi mister,
It has been three months since the news broke. A lot has changed, but at the same time not a whole lot has changed, if that makes sense.
I'm doing okay, I guess. We got a new puppy, Rex. He's kind of a pain right now as a baby, but I have no doubts that you'd absolutely love him. Whenever I'm home from school, I make sure to spend time with Tuna. He misses you just as much as I do, and I'm sure he constantly wonders where you are and when you're coming home.
Sometimes when I'm alone, I go to Mike's house, and I just sit there thinking about you. I think about all the things we did together. Walking the break wall, walks in general, how happy you got when it was time to be brushed, barking at the hair dryer.
We all still have a tendency to break down whenever you come to mind. Losing you took a toll on all of us for quite some time. You have never really left my mind, but I only allow myself to break down once in awhile because I know you wouldn't want me to be sad. You were always the happiest little fur ball making sure I was always smiling.
Ever since you left us, this overwhelming sense of guilt has taken over my body. It becomes hard to shake some days. I feel like I let you down so terribly little mister. Everything was fine before I left for college. Then I left, and I wasn't there for you. Your poor little belly twisted, and I wasn't there to help you. For that, I feel so awful, and there is nothing I wouldn't give to be able to go back to that day and save you. I would take away all of your pain in a heartbeat if I could.
Grandma always listens to me when I need to talk about you, and she always reminds me that, "everything happens for a reason." I'm not sure I'll ever discover the reason behind losing you so unexpectedly, but all I can do is hope that it was a good one.
Writing to you isn't easy, but it seems to be my only way of coping with all of this. I hope you're loving heaven. I hope you're being brushed daily, standing proud with your huge black tail in the air. I hope you're leaping around making Uncle Henry and Aunt Nadine smile as big as you made me smile for three incredible years.
I love you Champ, and I miss you more and more every single day.
