First of all, I want to thank you.

Thank you for being the sweetest, kindest, most loving, most generous, and most special best friend that I did and will ever have.

Thank you for letting me dance around the house in my sassy shoes and for painting my nails when I begged you because you knew I was really bad at it.

Thank you for playing with my hair when I cried and listening to me talk about the same stupid guy over and over, even though knew I deserved better all along.

Thank you for being the sister that you never had and the one I always wanted, even if we fought over stupid stuff more than we should’ve… like “not being included enough” in each other’s future weddings.

Thank you for helping me love myself and for showing me my worth when I had no reason to believe I had any.

Thank you for being my number one and for understanding me in a way that no one else did.

I think we could both agree that my boyfriend is the love of my life, but you were my soulmate.

Now I want to tell you how sorry I am. And I need you to understand how much I mean it. You didn’t deserve to be pushed to the sidelines of my life when things got rough, and I’m so sorry that I chose to shut you out. I can’t tell you how much I’m going to miss not giving the maid of honor speech at your wedding and decorating our houses the exact same way one day.

It’s still so hard to believe that we have to do the rest of our lives moving in two different directions when we used to live on the same page.

I want you to know I’m so sorry I never told you this enough, but that I’m so proud of you. You’re going to literally move mountains in your life, and I believe in you with all I’ve got. The light and joy you have in your heart is anything but ordinary, and I hope the people in your world treasure that more than anything else. I just miss you, and I think a part of me always will. Losing your friendship broke my heart more than any high school first love ever could’ve.

So I might not be there anymore, but here’s the thing:

You’ll always kinda be my person, even if I’m not yours.