I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked and even longer since we have hung out. I wish I had a better explanation than the one I’m about to give, but I feel as if I owe you one, even if it’s not the best. I’m not usually the one to cut people off so abruptly, and to do it to one of my best friends makes me realize that, that isn’t the person that I want to be.

The first thing I want to say is, I’m sorry. I’m sorry we drifted apart and that you probably feel like I just gave up on our friendship, but that was never the purpose of all of this. I honestly didn’t have a purpose or a reason for that matter. I wish I could put into words the emotions I feel when I look at old pictures or check my time hop and see the conversations we used to have, what happened isn’t alright and I want you to know that.

I miss our inside jokes and our adventures. I miss having an adventurous friend like you that pushed me to do things I would never have done. I miss having someone that I could text about anything and have someone who would meet me at Chipotle in a heartbeat. You were a great friend to me and I’m sorry that at times I wasn’t the same back. If I could redo it, I would. I would be a better friend. I wish more than anything that it didn’t have to be like this.

I wish we could pick up where we left off, but I know that it isn’t that simple. Maybe it would be awkward, or maybe we’ve both changed into different people and our friendship wouldn’t be the same anymore, but some days I would love to just have the answer to all those questions. I would love to sit down and talk about everything that’s happened, but it’s been so long that I’m too scared to approach the person I felt the most comfortable crying to over the phone and telling all my problems to, and that’s what hurts the most. I miss the trust we had and the connection we had, but maybe it can still be rebuilt. I’m sorry for not talking to you as soon as we started drifting apart, I wish I could change it, but this is the way it is now.

Even though we aren’t friends anymore I just want to say thank you to the many years of friendship that we shared. Thank you for being such a great listener, and never judging me. Thank you for the numerous laughs and shenanigans, and most importantly, thank you for the memories that we made that I will cherish forever. Maybe one day we can pick up where we left off, and leave this all behind us, but until then, thank you for being one of my best friends that I will never forget.