I still remember the exact moment you made me a big sister.
I was so overwhelmed with joy and excitement. I remember our mother leaving for the hospital with my dad pacing after her. I remember rushing to the hospital with my uncle when we were given the news. I remember the exact outfit I wore.
Then I met you. You wrapped your hand around my index finger. You were about the size of my forearm. I had never held something so little. I had never felt a tiny human heartbeat. I had never experienced such delicacy. You were so fragile and relied on our utmost protection for survival.
You grew up fairly quickly, I admit, but you were still a baby. My baby.
It's hard for me to hear that you've already heard of a song I'm trying to introduce you to. It's even stranger to see you raid my closet and share my clothes. When did we become the same size?
It hurts when you refuse to take my opinion. When did I stop being the person you came to for advice?
You're growing, not only physically but mentally, intellectually and philosophically. You have questions about the world that I want to answer, but I know you only learn from self-inquiry, and I have to understand that you have to find the answers to your questions on your own.
It's hard to watch you make your own decisions even though my experience on this planet dictates me to tell you not to choose that particular path. But I'm beginning to realize that you need to make your own mistakes to learn these lessons for yourself instead of having your big sister barking at you.
I know it seems like I'm hard on you. It's because I never want to see you fail – however I am one to know that the greatest lessons I have learned have been through failure, so who am I to try and take that away from you?
The truth is, life is unpredictable. I, myself have made so many mistakes, so when I see you making the same ones as me, I don't want you to make my mistakes because I want you to be better than me.
Life will occasionally go wrong for you, and although it will pain me to see you upset, I know that this is imperative for your learning. You have taken your first steps into this journey of intrinsic self-discovery, and it's going to be the most riveting journey of your life. When you learn about others and yourself and you find that things are just not going as you expected, try to remember that this is normal and the world is not against you.
These are just experiences and they will dictate how you see the world.
My only wish for you is for you to always see the good in the world. This is a fault I am trying to correct in myself every day.
Seize every opportunity that you can.
Be passionate. Whatever you do, do it with passion and soul, and if you don't, its either because you don't love what you're doing enough or because you're scared about how the world will define you.
Embrace your inner weird and strange, it is so much better than being basic.
Finally, never forget where home is. Home is not necessarily a location. It can lie in a person, in your culture, in your values. Wherever it is, do not let another person negatively influence where you stand in life, and if you do find yourself straying from "home", use your moral compass to lead you back.
I love you with all of my heart, and I am so proud of the girl you are and the woman that you will someday become.
Yours always,
Baji
