On June 4th, 2012, a beautiful baby girl was born to my sister. She was tiny and soft, full of life and yawns. Now, 5 years later, she's got a full head of golden curls and is always growing. This summer, I get to spend my days with her and we couldn't be more excited. While there may be bad days and there may be lots of tantrums, these are the things I want her to know now and forever.
You're such an important part of our lives, even when other things seem to take over.
Things have been hard for her, since both her moms work all week long. Add onto that a shift from preschool routine to summer and we've just put her whole world into a spiral. But every day I look forward to being able to spend time with her. Even when I'm at school myself, I never cease to tell stories about her or want to know what's going on in her life. Her parents are no different. With all three being busy, I know she sometimes forgets that she's important, but I'm trying to remind her otherwise.
Eating is not a torture we're trying to force upon you.
As silly as it sounds, she makes it seem like we're trying to feed her poisoned razor blades with what a struggle dinner can be. I'm always trying to find new ways to convince her to actually eat her meal or at least give it a try. Sometimes, you just accept it and give her a peanut butter sandwich. Other days, I call upon any gods who might listen to give me the strength to remain strong. Either way, the battle of dinnertime is something we engage in because we want to see her grow and everyone knows it's for a good cause.
You're perfect just the way you are.
Seeing a five-year-old struggle with body image issues is rough. It's bad enough for me as an adult to process them, let alone her, who barely understands what amazing things our bodies are. Every time she wants to put herself down (or occasionally tries to poke fun at someone else because of what she saw on tv), I try my hardest to remind her of a better view: bodies are beautiful, no matter what. Whether her thighs jiggle or my tummy is big, we're just living with these vessels and it's okay.
Never stop wanting to learn.
After a year of preschool, her desire for more knowledge has only grown. Last summer, she asked about math. This summer, she wants to learn science. She begged for ABC Mouse and hasn't gotten bored with it, including the books that she hates. Every moment is a chance for her to ask questions about college, nature, why we do the things we do and so much more. Each day, we encourage her even more to ask those questions and explore the world around her so she can continue to learn more and more.
Her Aunt Zizi loves her.
It's not easy to watch kids full time. I'm sure it doesn't compare to motherhood, but that doesn't negate the difficulty. There are lots of days where we hate each other. There are lots of days we snuggle on the couch. Some nights she sleeps peacefully, others she wakes up every hour. What matters is that at the end of the day, we both know tomorrow is a new day and we have to start fresh. When I kiss her goodnight, it's not because I feel obligated. It's because I love her and want her to know that, today, tomorrow, and always.
Being with my niece isn't a walk in the park, especially as she gets older and sassier (that one's definitely my fault). Things get rough trying to be the cool aunt while also trying to help with discipline and routine. It's not always the world the internet leads us to believe, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm still here to calm her down when her stuffed animal goes missing. I get to remind her that her moms love her, even when they have to be late to dinner. I have the blessing of waking up to her beautiful smile in the morning, when she comes in and asks, "Zizi, can I watch Pokemon with breakfast?" I know one day she won't be small and I won't be able to be here all the time, so I've learned to cherish those moments and hold onto them when things are rough. And I wouldn't change a single thing.
