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To All The Tinder Boys I've Loved Before, You Were The Lessons I Never Knew I Needed

I'm still hung up on Lover #4.

Autumn Childers

Aug 25, 2019

Arizona State University

To All The Tinder Boys I've Loved Before, You Were The Lessons I Never Knew I Needed

Daria Shevtsova from Pexels

Dear Love #1,

You were the greatest lesson I learned after coming out of a three-year relationship. You knew I was in a vulnerable state and knew I would be the perfect one to take advantage of for all of your emotional needs. That's OK now. I am glad you were able to benefit from whatever that was. I was kind of bored by your biotechnology talk anyway.

Dear Love #2,

I honestly miss having you around. You were such a great friend and so relatable. I am glad that you have found someone that makes you happy. You went through a lot, and I highly respect how your goal in life is just to make everyone happier. You deserve the best.

Dear Love #3,

I was so in love with how intelligent you are. You're in grad school, you have a place, and your maturity amazed me. We liked the same kind of music, had similar goals (I think), and enjoyed each other's company. I enjoyed your company, at least. I thought you were the right one for me, and I still feel like you could be, but we are at two different points in our lives. We both have flaws we need to fix, and that is OK. I am excited to see where all of your accomplishments will one day bring you, and I will always be one of your cheerleaders.

Dear Love #4,

I am still in love with you, and it sucks. I don't know why I'm being dumb enough to stick around. Every time I try to leave though, you beg me in some sort of capacity to stay. I blame it on myself, but honestly, it is kind of selfish of you. You're amazing, you have your life together, and you are achieving all of your dreams. I want to share that with you, but if doing that in friendship rather than a relationship benefits you more, then I guess I will do that... for you.

Dear Love #5,

You are the sweetest man I have met in years. You are always checking in on me and encouraging me to accomplish my goals. You are the most selfless person, always wanting to give. I feel like I only give you 30% compared to what you give me, which is horrible. It's because I am so hung up on Love #4. I am so sorry I have been putting you through this. Thank you for being such an amazing person in my life.

With love,

Autumn

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To All The Tinder Boys I've Loved Before, You Were The Lessons I Never Knew I Needed

I'm still hung up on Lover #4.

In This Article:

Dear Love #1,

Dear Love #2,

Dear Love #3,

Dear Love #4,

Dear Love #5,

Subscribe to our Newsletter

#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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