Dear Grandpa,

It's been six months since you left us, things couldn't be more different around here and I miss you so much. A lot has changed since you left us, a lot of things are missing from my life, my dad's life and Grandma's life.

Losing you was something I've feared for a long time. I was so lucky to have you in my life for 18 years. You were there for everything. Yesterday, I turned 19, and I couldn't have missed you more. I had no one to call me Lissypoo or "punkinpie" (your version of pumpkin pie) and I didn't hear your voice say "Happy Birthday" alongside the nickname.

I know you are up in Heaven feeling so much better than you did here. You were in so much pain every day, especially the past year, and I'm glad you aren't in pain anymore, but the rest of our family has a hole in their hearts where you belong.

I don't get to wake up when I stay over anymore to overly crispy bacon and cinnamon french toast like you always made for me and Grandma (even though you hated French Toast, but Grandma loved it so you made it anyways). I don't get those big hugs and kisses when I see you. I don't get to laugh with you about yelling at you when I was four for skinning a deer when I thought it was a dog or joking about all the hair you had to clean from the pool after my 16th birthday pool party. And I don't get to tell you how much I love you and appreciate you anymore. I miss you.

Dad misses you too. He feels guilty that he couldn't bring you back with CPR that day. Even though the paramedics told him there was never any bringing you back. He cries about it and I cry just seeing him cry. You may be my grandfather, but you're his dad and I know you guys had big plans for the future, so I plan on finishing those with him. I know you would have loved that.

And I know you had big plans with Grandma too. She misses hearing you call her "Poopsie" and she misses you, she tells me all the time. She tells me stories about when you guys first met and about your wedding and so many other stories, I never get tired of hearing them. She misses you so much and I know that your 50th wedding anniversary is this Saturday and she is so sad to not be able to spend it with you in person. I hope that one day I find a man that treats me as good as you treated her and that I end up with him for at least 50 years.

You treated Grandma like a queen. You loved her and took care of her and she took care of you too. I have never seen a married couple so perfect for each other. This Saturday, on the day that marks 50 years of marriage with her, I will be there for Grandma to make her happy because I know how hard this will be for her, you were and are her best friend, my dad's best friend and my best friend. I miss you so much more than you will ever know, Grandpa. But I know I will see you again someday.

I love you always Grandpa (or as I always called you, Grampa).

See you soon,

Lissypoo