You do not exist yet, nor will you for a very long time. But for whatever reason, I’ve been thinking about you lately. What will your favorite color be? What will your favorite breakfast cereal be? Will you look like me or your father? What will your laugh sound like? What your nervous quirks will be? I’m not ready for you yet, but one day I will be. I will hold you in my arms and my heart will be filled with joy, happiness and sadness. Sadness because by being born a girl, it is as if you are already guilty of something. By being born a girl, you will have to face many, many obstacles that your brother, father, uncles and grandfathers never did.

My love, I never want your being born a girl to determine where you go in your life. I never want you to think that you are less spectacular than your male counterpart. Because it simply just is not true. Do not be afraid to take up space. You deserve to be here on Earth as much as anyone else. Please find your voice and do not be afraid to use it, but use it for good and positivity. Your words are powerful; they can save lives or end them.

The size of your bra or jeans are insignificant compared to the size of your heart. The size of your passion and determination; and if you are anything like me, you will have a lot of it. Please try whatever you think you will be good at, and pour your entire heart into it. Put your heart into everything you do, and you will be amazed of what you accomplish.

In a world of insecure cookie-cutter people, I pray you find the ability to be fearlessly yourself. Even though you are not here yet, I know you will be worth knowing. The sun will be dull compared to your smile. The ocean will be less magnificent than your eyes. The mountains will be less breathtaking than your existence. I hope you fear not of who you are, because there are people out there, in the world, wondering what it would be like to meet someone just like you, and I want you to be there for them.

As perfect to me as you will be, you will make mistakes. But I hope you do not let your failures go to your heart. I want you to have the courage to start each day fresh and positive. I know you can do whatever you put your mind to and invest your heart in.

Next, I want to talk about what a good man is. Hold your men to a high standard, because if they love you, they will rise to them. No matter how cautiously you date, you will experience heartbreak. It’s a human experience. Sometimes circumstances change and love isn’t enough to save your relationship. Please do not let heartbreaks make you afraid to love. I promise there is a man out there who will look at you with the same amazement people look at the clear nighttime sky with. If he doesn’t make you feel safe, he is not for you. If he doesn’t make you feel wanted, he is not for you. If he doesn’t make you feel invincible, he is not for you. Find a man who loves his mama; it’s a good place to start. The way a man treats his own mother is a good indication of how he will treat you, because if he treats the women who brought him into this world like sh*t, then he won’t treat you any better, and my dear, you deserve to be treated with respect, compassion, and love—so much love.

Although I am writing this prematurely, I just want you to know that one day I will be ready to be your mom.

Lastly, I just want to say that no matter what you do, no matter where you go, I want you to know that whenever you look back, I will be there. When you feel like you do not have the strength to keep living, I want you to remember how much I love you. Use me as your crutch when you are feeling weak. One day, I’m sure you will return the favor. You are mine, and I am yours. I love you more than I ever knew I could love another human being. And you don’t even exist yet.

Love, Mom