I’ve realized that you, my dearest friends, have much more faith in me than I’ve had as of late. It goes up and down, and recently it’s been more on the down slope. I haven’t been believing in myself nearly so much as I should be, even when I have continued to push myself to become a better person. I still simply don’t feel like I’m as wonderful of a person as I know on some level that I must be. After all, you wouldn’t be putting up with me if I weren’t at least as spectacular of a person as you are.

There have been far darker times than lately, of course—times when I honestly thought I wasn’t going to make it. But I did, and at first it was solely out of gratitude and out of feeling I owed you a debt. And I still feel this to a point, but I know now that I should be living for myself first and foremost, not for anyone else. Regardless, I need you to know that your love was what gave me drive to survive. For the longest time, and sometimes even still, your kindness was solely what kept me alive.

Generally, I’m finally doing much better than I have in my life. Sure, I still am hitting some bumps with self confidence and had a recent close call with my struggles, but overall, I am finally happy.

And it’s all honestly because you’ve helped equip me with the will to fight in this battle. You’ve protected me when necessary, thrown me out to face my inner demons (with the proper ammunition, of course), during others. There have been times where a gentle push was perceived as a harsh shove in the pavement by me, but it was exactly what it turned out I needed in order to learn, in the very end. Whilst even still, sometimes a tender approach worked wonders as well.

A very rare and appreciated bunch of you are always so gentle, so kind and so understanding; always willing to come to my aid at a moment’s notice. Others of you, who are equally loved by me, took a harsher approach at times, but it was what I needed.Sometimes, one needs a more bold approach. Sometimes, tough love is what’s required. The point is, somehow, so many of you knew exactly what I needed. And even when you didn’t, it still helped in some way, shape, or form, I guarantee you. Sometimes even a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on is all I would need- no advice or anything else that may seem like a monumental task to undertake required.

Thus, my dear friends, thank you so, so very much. Thank you for having faith in me even at times when I can’t believe in myself. You are the ones guiding me to the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Sometimes I can’t see that light, but you do. Heck, sometimes not only are you taking me by the hand and leading me to that light, but you’re even emitting a soft ember glow yourselves. Sometimes you are the light that’s at the end. Sometimes you are the only thing putting my end to a halt—the only thing that keeps me going strong. Sometimes, you are what gives me strength, and hope.

You supply me with my fire my will. If I’m the “Girl on Fire” (in reference to "The Hunger Games"), as one of you has encouraged me to become at times, then you’re the supplier of my gasoline. You’re also the ones who coached me like Haymitch (again with "The Hunger Games" references)—only on how to tame the flames and how to spark with shining radiance rather than get burnt to a pile of pitch ash.

Sometimes, and I feel I must stress the sometimes, as I do mostly live for myself now, but sometimes love is the only thing that keeps me going, and I’m OK with that. Knowing how loved I am by all of you is a sufficient reason to live, I think. Remembering how loved I am by you alone and allowing myself to reflect on the weight of that realization is plenty to keep me content. Allowing myself to simply drown in that sort of feeling it’s nice, and safe, and warm, and it keeps me happy if nothing else works. My love for you and your love for me is my trump card—my secret weapon.

Please if nothing else, know that your efforts were never in vain. You’ve saved me, and for that, I cannot emphasize how grateful I am to you enough.