An Open Letter To My First Love | The Odyssey Online
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An Open Letter To My First Love

We were so young, we didn't know what we were doing, (well maybe you did), and I wasn't your first girlfriend, but you were my first; My first kiss, my first REAL boyfriend, and most importantly, you were my first love.

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couple holding hands

You know who you are,

Thank you for making me laugh, thank you for making me smile, and most of all, thank you for making my days better.

You always had a way with your words. I felt like a princess when I was with you. Everyone thought we were the cutest couple. You even charmed my parents and me with your future plans of being a doctor.

I really thought I had found my person; my life partner.

To this day I think back to us and how happy I was to have a real boyfriend who I loved dearly. I believed you loved me too, I really did.

I still remember our cute little dates together that I genuinely enjoyed despite not having cars yet. I would always beg my brother to drive me to your house just so I could see you.

I try to justify the reason why. We were in high school… We were young… But for some reason, I just can't find the heart to forgive you.

Maybe you didn't take us as seriously as I had thought. Did we not talk enough? Was I doing something wrong? Did I not make you happy? Because you most certainly made me the happiest girl on Earth.

I was naive. I trusted every little piece of you. I naively believed everything that you told me was true.

You always held my phone for me. You always looked at my Snapchat. My everything. I never held your phone for you or ever looked on your phone. I never looked over your shoulder even just out of curiosity.

Until that one night. That one night that you handed over your phone so you could play basketball with your friends.

We knew each others' passcodes to unlock our phones. I never opened your phone before but I knew your passcode. I think you never thought about hiding anything on your phone simply because you thought I would never look on your phone.

When I saw the messages my heart just shattered into pieces. I was done. I was so done I just wanted to give up on everything.

I handed your phone back to you. Tears were streaming down my face. You asked what was wrong and her name slipped off my lips.

I couldn't even look up to you. I hope you know how much you hurt me. I hope you know that you broke me into a million little pieces.

I was shocked that someone could hurt me so bad.

You hurt me. You broke me.

Our relationship was toxic. Honestly, I don't even know if you actually loved me as I loved you.

Yet, months later I fell back under your trap. I still wanted you. I craved your love. Your toxic love.

I ended it. I finally ended what I thought was just a mistake. I blocked you from every social media site and put you completely out of my life.

Thank you for breaking me. Thank you for waking me up.

Thank you for making me realize that life is not rainbows and butterflies.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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