My first love,
We gave up before we wanted to.
And I think that's what hurt the most; wanting someone so badly but not being able to make it work.
You are the only person I can say I have truly fallen in love with. We'd talked about the future like it was close enough to touch. It never was, though. Four years with you seemed like forever with you, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.
Right from the beginning, we knew we had something special. I had never clicked with someone as quickly and easily as I had clicked with you. I soon found myself head over heels in love with you. You were the first boy to show me all of the beautiful things a relationship could bring. You trusted me with all of your personal stories and you let me into your past. Every time you opened up to me, I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love. I loved everything that you were and everything you wanted to be.
You truly don't give yourself enough credit. You're amazingly talented. You're extremely intelligent and witty (though I played off that you weren't). You're caring and loving. You are the most handsome and dreamy guy I have ever met (you were my McDreamy). You're so many wonderful things. Anyone who has you in their life is truly blessed.
You were the first person I had ever met who actually understood me. You'd listen to me crying about something and you'd understand. You'd listen about my anxiety and you'd understand. You'd listen to my intense feelings toward you and you'd understand. Most people would have run away, but you didn't. You took me for who I was and loved me like I deserved. I can't thank you enough for the influence you've had on my life.
I'll never forget my love for you. I don't regret it, either. You gave me things I couldn't have possibly imagined:
A larger appreciation for myself and my kindness
A higher self-esteem
Genuine happiness
The feeling of being loved
Endless emotional support
A true best friend I can count on to pick me up when I'm down
A greater acceptance of myself
Comfort and a sense of security
At this point, you're my longest relationship. I don't regret anything that happened between us. I believe everything happens for a reason. You came into my life to teach me what real love feels like. You came into my life to sweep me off my feet and be the best first boyfriend a girl could ask for.
I want to thank you for being you. Even though we've had our issues and started to drift apart at one point or another, I'll always be thankful to have had you in my life.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend we had a perfect relationship. It was far from it. You got on my nerves, and I always wanted more than you could give me. I wasn't always your priority, and I didn't make myself a priority either. I hurt myself continuously trying to stay with you and making you want to be with me.
No one got to truly see what you and I had. Not even my best friends, thinking they knew everything. I don't know that they'll ever see just how special our relationship was and how important you were to me. Therefore, everyone has this negative opinion of you because they know you hurt me. But at the end of the day, the distance that was made between us was too much. The communication between us wasn't enough.
I'm sorry we couldn't make it this time. We tried over and over again to make us work. Apparently, we were just another one of those "it just wasn't the right time" stories. Our intentions were true. We said we wouldn't let distance tear us apart, but we did.
I'll always love you. You'll always have a special place in my heart.
We may have been perfect for one another, but our timing wasn't right.
Thank you for all of the beautiful memories. I'll forever cherish them.
Sincerely,
Melissa
