I just want to start off by saying the two words that i said most of our relationship: I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for not being what you wanted after so long and for not being the person that was good enough for you. I'm sorry for everything that i have done and for everything i continue to do.

You were my everything. The person that i thought i could count on. i'd like to think that i stuck by your side through all of it. We've had a lot of bad days but, there were more good than bad. You were the person i thought would be by my side forever, the person that i thought i would marry. There's so much i would have done for you and There is still so many things that i would do for you. I keep running back to you, even though i know you don't want me.

You are the one who built me & broke me all at the same time.

There are times that you would tell me i was beautiful & that you would love me forever. There were also times where i didn't know if that were true or not. Now, i realize that none of it was.

I have questions that i want to ask:

• When did you stop trying?
• When did i stop being enough for you?
• When did you decide that you didn't love me anymore?

The truth is, i don't think i will ever get the answer for any of them.

I wish that you would realize that i'd given it my all. That i'm still giving it my all even though i don't know if anything is ever going to happen between us. After everything, i still keep going back. I can't seem to master the art of letting you go.

Meeting you may have been one of the best yet worst moments of my life. As Meredith Grey said in Grey's Anatomy "When i met you, i thought that i had found the person i was going to spend the rest of my life with." Thinking back on that now, i realized i was wrong.

The worst part from this whole situation is that i would still be here for you if you ever needed anything. No matter what it is, i will still always run back to you. I think you know that and i think that might be why you're doing what you're doing. Because, you know that no matter what you do to me & no matter what you say to me, you will always have someone to run back to.

I just don't understand it now, when you love someone you're supposed to give it your all. you're supposed to make them the only one. Not lead them on until someone better comes along or make them feel good one moment then like shit the next.

When you love somebody, you are supposed to give that relationship everything that you have.... That's what i was doing. Hell, that's what i'm still doing. Why could you not do the same? There might be a part of you that still loves me, i don't know, there might not. I don't know if i will ever know the answer to that.

But i do want to thank you. Shocker, right?

Thank you for making me see my self worth.

For making me this way. Even though I don't want to admit it, you made me better for the next relationship that will come along. You made me who i am today & who i am right now is okay with me.