Dear you-know-who-you-are,
Forgive me if this is a little short, but it doesn't take a lot of words for me to say how much you mean to me.
Throughout my whole life I've been looking for friends who give to me just as much as I give to them. That's all anyone really wants, isn't it? Someone to care about them as much as they care about others. The universe is so constantly crazy. All we strive for is some type of equilibrium and if we're lucky enough, we find people who can give it to us.
Being friends with guys has been a difficult journey for me. I know I'm kind of beating a dead horse, but it's hard to be understood, especially by other guys. I don't think like them. I don't like sports. I don't like to go out and smoke a cigar and drink beer from a can, or do other things that a lot of guys like. What I can do and always have done is support my guy friends when they need it most, or when they can't talk to anyone else about certain things. I have always been the emotional crutch of so many friendships that, a lot of the time, it's hard to hold all those feelings in addition to my own.
Going to college was definitely scary. I didn't know what would happen or how people would react to me (which is what I'm sure every freshman is thinking about) and I was frightened. I made a few good friends along the way, and a lot of them I am still friends with. Some of the guys have been great, others not so great. At our school there are so few, as you know, so it's slim pickings in more ways than one.
I can't remember when I first met you exactly, but I know it was probably a great time. You're always so positive and happy-go-lucky, and want everyone around you to be the same. It's hard to be glum around you, you're a big bright ball of fun. You're always the first one to dance (very well, I might add), the first to hug, the first to ask how someone's day is going. I don't think you know how many people truly value how you act around them, because not many people are like you.
When I realized that I had been sexually assaulted as a freshman this year, I didn't know what to do or who to turn to. Even though it had happened three years ago, I felt so vulnerable and naked and helpless. I didn't want to tell anyone at first because I thought it would be considered weakness or attention. Eventually I told people from my closest circle one by one, you being one of them. As I was telling you what had happened with tears in my eyes, I looked up and saw your eyes were watering up, too. You hugged me and laid in bed with me for a few minutes, so that I 100 percent knew you had my back and dedicated to helping me get through this. That meant more to me than you'll ever know, so thank you.
You have often voiced to me your insecurities, from your impediment to who you are as a person and a few other things I'll keep between us. I have always told you that you are perfect, because it's true. You give me what I give you, which is amazing. Every time that I have cried this year, you've been the one whose shoulder I've leaned on, for every disaster you hugged me and told me everything would be okay. You are the best person I know.
You wonder if you're enough: enough for your significant other, your family, your friends, school, yourself... and you are. You are more than enough. Thank you for everything that you have done for me in our friendship, and I can't wait to live the rest of my life knowing you'll always be there supporting me and I will always be supporting you.
Love from the south shore,
Matt
