No matter how hard life can get, the world still keeps on spinning. I just wish you were still here spinning with us.

To My Childhood Friend in Heaven,

They say everything happens for a reason. I wish I could understand the reason of why you had to leave us so young. It’s been 13 years since you left us, and not a day goes by where I don’t think about you. There are nights where I lay awake in bed thinking about the day you left us and how much I wish you were still here. I cry over the ‘what if’ scenarios that I often play in my head. What if you stayed home that day with your grandmother? What if we had one of those play dates that we always used to have? Everyday, I know you are beside me guiding me through this complicated thing called life and I know one day we will meet each other again. But until then, I hope you’re happy up there, because you deserve nothing but the best.

The day I lost you was like losing a piece of myself. I constantly think about the night that I learned you had passed away in a car accident and the hurt that I felt when I knew I wouldn’t be hearing your laugh anymore or feel your fingers touching my hair like you did when we played. But the most painful part of it all, was that I was no longer going to have my first childhood best friend beside me.

I remember standing at your funeral and seeing your parents, your grandmother, and my mother crying. You were like a brother that I never had and my mom treated you like her own. I held onto your favorite Blues Clues toy that matched mine that my mom had bought us just a week before you passed away. Tears fell down my face as I said my last goodbye to you.

Now that 13 years have passed there are so many things that I want to tell you. I want to say sorry for always getting mad when you touched my hair and when I used to take your toy away from you. I want to tell you that I wish you were here in college with me studying law just like you said you would when we were younger. I want to thank you for showing me how to laugh even when I don’t want to. And thank you for always being there when I need you the most. There are times where I hear your laugh and I will turn around quickly to see if you’re there. You may not be there physically, but I know you are there in spirit. Last but not least, I want you to know that nobody is mad that you left. What happened to you was tragic and an accident that couldn’t be prevented. Who knew that it was going to rain that day? Who knew that the car was going to lose control and skid off the road? Nobody knew a thing. Trust me, there are times where I wish I knew what was going to happen to prevent you or your family from going into the car, but there is nobody that anybody could do.

It truly goes to show that the best things in life can’t be bought. No amount of money will ever be enough to buy back the friendship and memories that we shared. Though we were young, you were like a brother I never had; one of the best things to come into my life. When I see you again, I hope we can pick up where we left off. I am sure you have a ton of questions about some of the life choices that I made. But that is ok, because there is nobody I would rather share it with.

Until then, keep on smiling my guardian angel.