I'm going to be honest: when you first told me what happened, I had no idea what to say. It came as a shock. How could you — the girl that had great friends, a great boyfriend, and a great college to attend — be raped? These kinds of things don’t happen to girls like you, right?
Wrong. Rape does not discriminate. It took me awhile to understand this, but from that I just want you to really understand that what that disgusting person did to you was not your fault. Your outfit choice of tight shorts and a small shirt to accommodate for the hot weather that day did not cause your rape. Your agreement to head back to his house with him after class did not cause your rape. Your decision to put your trust in him that you two would be working on homework together did not cause your rape. He caused your rape. He decided to push you out of your comfort zone, ignore your pleas for him to stop, and completely violate you as if it were no big deal. This person is the one that is at fault here. He didn’t have the decency to treat you with the respect that any human being deserves, and I am so sorry for that.
Please don’t let this change how you view yourself. Your beauty and abilities are in no way hampered by what has happened to you. I know you probably don’t see yourself in the best light just yet, but oh honey everybody else does. Your friends, family, teammates, teachers, everyone you know. You light up our lives.
You have the type of smile that someone looks at and immediately can’t help themselves but from smiling the same exact way. I miss that smile. I don’t think he changed you, but he sent you into hiding. Having such a traumatic thing happen to you is understandably painful, but it’s not a deciding factor for how you should live your life.
My sweet friend, you don’t need to hide anymore. You’ve already achieved the daunting task of reporting such an awful thing, and I am forever proud of you for being strong enough to do so. I just want you to know that you are not in this alone. There are so many people in your life that are here to support you in whatever happens next.
And for me, I am completely at your disposal. I will do anything I possibly can to give you the support you need, whether it be by giving you a hug at three in the morning because you just had an awful bad dream, or by sitting in the courtroom with you as you testify against that piece of a garbage and you need a face you recognize to look at. I am committed to making sure you are not alone in this fight. With that said, I don’t want any survivor of sexual assault to be alone in this fight.
The fact that this is such a common crime occurring in our society is so infuriating to me. In honor of you, I will put my voice out there and help fight this fight against sexual assault. Survivors deserve this justice.
