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To My Angel

It terrifies me how close you once were and how far away you are now

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To My Angel
Claire Blanchard

To my Angel:

It has been years since I have seen your face. It's starting to just fade away and honestly, that terrifies me. It's the fact that not so long ago you were so close and now you just seem so far away. Something I have realized is that even though the thought of you being gone still tears me apart, it's the time that I did get to spend with you that makes the pain fade away.

It may have only been a short period of time that I was able to talk to you or hug you yet, you made a lasting impact on me. An impact not only during our time together, but an impact still to this day. I have learned to embrace life on an entirely new level. I have turned all of your "Nevers" into my "I will's". I love deeper, laugh harder, and enjoy the little things so much more.

You are no longer here to enjoy the feeling of rain on your skin or the smell of a real Christmas tree, but don't worry I will experience it all for you. I will listen to the Cheetah Girls and blare it as I drive down the road knowing that if you were still here you would be sitting in the passenger seat singing just as loud as I am. I will let the musical carousal play on days when it seems as though I'll never make it through, after all, it was a gift from you. You are my strength and inspiration to power through every difficult obstacle that comes my way.

Sometimes as I walk down the hallways or down the grocery store aisle I think I see a glimpse of your face or hear your laughter. In that moment my heart beats faster as I realize I may not be able to see you but you are right there next to me. You were holding my hand as I walked through the doors of school the day you didn't come. You were wiping the tears off my face through my parents' divorce. You were cheering from the crowd as I walked across the stage for graduation. You were here through every single moment of my life, the good and the bad.

So to you my angel: I promise to love everyone who comes into my life. I promise to laugh so hard that my stomach hurts and tears roll down my face. I promise to never grow up because you never will either. Most of all, I promise that I will never forget you no matter how far you may seem, you will live on within me.

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