Dear 14-Year-Old Me,

If someone had told me when I was your age that I was going to be a completely different person in seven years, I wouldn’t have believed them, but it’s true. You’re going to go through a lot in the next seven years—and I’m sure even more in the years to follow.

You’re going to lose some friends, but don’t worry. The kinds of friends you lose, for the most part, aren’t people that were good for you anyway. These are the kinds of people who would have brought you down or held you back, so you will be much better off without them. There are a few exceptions to this, and you will lose a couple close friends who were just finished with their journey in your life. Yes, losing all of these people will sting at first, and it will make you cry, but you’ll get a great lesson out of the pain: You’ll learn how to pick yourself back up. You’ll also learn a few other lessons from the situations that arise. You’ll learn who your true friends really are, you’ll learn how to be more independent, and you’ll learn to step outside of your comfort zone to meet new people. The bottom line is this: You’re going to be okay.

You’re going to experience heartbreak. Listen, it happens to everyone. No relationship is perfect, and it takes time to realize that, especially when things seemed pretty good. You’re going to get your heart broken, but just like with your friends, you’re going to learn to pick yourself back up and do good things for yourself. You have good people in your life, and life is not all about having a boyfriend—I know, what a shocker, but it’s true. Just trust me. You’re going to be okay, and your heart won’t be broken forever. The pain will linger, but you will learn to forgive and move on. It’s going to work out.

You’re going to make some decisions that will have consequences, but that’s a part of life. Not every decision you make in your life will be a good one, and that’s okay. This is how you learn. Making mistakes is the only way to improve and build a better you. You’re going to see the consequences of a friendship, a relationship, a statement, an action, a question—the list goes on, but that’s okay. Life is full of choices, and sometimes you don’t make the right ones, but that doesn’t mean you’re not a good person. The decisions you make shape you into the person you are meant to become, so you should embrace your mistakes and the consequences as part of that shaping process.

You’re going to have some awesome experiences! You’re going to meet some wonderful people, see some beautiful places, and experience things you have only heard about! You’re going to go to Germany twice, you’re going to go to college, you’re going to join a co-ed fraternity, you’re going to student teach, and so much more! Your life might seem boring right now, but that’s because you’re 14! Things are going to get so much more exciting as you step into the new chapters of your life, and I can’t wait for you to experience them. You’re going to love every moment of your journey when you look back on it.

14-Year-Old Me, my advice to you is simple: Take in the way your life is right now—it can change in a moment. Remember the small things and celebrate the big ones. Life will shape you into the person you are, and you’re going to want to remember who and what made you this way. Trust me.

Sincerely,

21-Year-Old You